SUMMARY KEYWORDS
heal, healing, feel, day, realise, create, journey, trauma, beautiful, people, process, happening, great, healing journey, alexander, talk, big, meditation, writing, clear, ayahuasca, light, self
SPEAKERS
Mangku Ketut, The Poet Yasin, Julia Malcolmson, Martin O'Toole
Martin O'Toole 00:31
Julia Malcolmson Hello, greetings. Hi, howdy, hey,
Julia Malcolmson 00:37
hi, my love.
Martin O'Toole 00:39
How are you doing? I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, What happening?, as they say,
Julia Malcolmson 00:45
Well, I had a really, somewhere really special day yesterday, I went all the way back down to Uluwatu to, to To say farewell to my teacher and mentor, she moves back to Europe for her calling. It was just really it was really special to witness this family that's grown because of her, you know, she's created this incredible community. And it was just lovely to all come together. And we did a little practice together. We said far well. And just to know that one person has really shone her light so brightly, that, you know, it's attracted all these people towards her to learn from her, brighten up their light, and then they will shine it. For others.
Martin O'Toole 01:30
She's had a wonderful effect on many lives already. We were talking about this recently, the ripple effect that any one of us can have all the time on any one, be it positive or negative. And it's wonderful to to hear the way you felt about Chiara and the phenomenal, positive effect she's had on people's lives through teaching Kundalini Yoga. In fact, I think we should get her on the show, because I'd love to. I'd love to talk about Kundalini Yoga, a lot more. Oh, yeah. be wonderful to have her on the show.
Julia Malcolmson 02:06
She's so powerful and so energetic.
Martin O'Toole 02:08
Yeah. And I know very little about it. And I'm sure many of the folks at home are in the same boat as me Ati's got something to say about Kundalini yoga.
Julia Malcolmson 02:23
Well, they love it. When I practice, they always come and join me
Martin O'Toole 02:26
quietly,
Julia Malcolmson 02:27
yeah fairly, they can tend to lie on my mat, I end up sharing my mat with them both, which is a little difficult. But anyway, so who did we talk to this week?
Martin O'Toole 02:38
This week, we talked to the bombastic, lovable, energetic ball of lightning and love, otherwise known as Alexander Menduluk,
Julia Malcolmson 02:56
I think that's a very, very good introduction.
Martin O'Toole 03:00
I might see if he wants me to write his profile for something. Yeah, Alexander, who's Alexander. He is a former Hollywood actor turned healer.
Julia Malcolmson 03:13
Yeah, he's had I think he's worn many, many hats.
Martin O'Toole 03:16
Yeah. And now he's a he and his wife, Shane, are a pair of phenomenal individuals. And they have a phenomenal family unit.
Julia Malcolmson 03:28
They do they do.
Martin O'Toole 03:30
They just emanate all the right stuff. Those guys this
Julia Malcolmson 03:34
Yeah, this interview, it would have been nice to have a video. Yeah, I think she would love to have shown you how this all went down, like sitting, watching the ocean sitting cross legged around a table. And it was just a very energetic and joyous session, wasn't it?
Martin O'Toole 03:50
It was, and his energy is absolutely contagious. I think what Alexander does is makes the whole topic of healing and that whole area of self healing, so so accessible, and that we had some incredible discussions around how one can heal oneself around meditation around unity consciousness around love. What else did we talk about? He gave some very, very good tips and practical advice to get started. Yeah, he he absolutely stuffed this episode with practical utility. So for anyone remotely interested in ways to start or things to consider to ground yourself or to to meditate, you must listen to this. In fact, he kind of did a almost a guided meditation. Yeah, which we both we both just wanted to close our eyes and
Julia Malcolmson 04:55
there's one thing that you took from this this episode. What was it
Martin O'Toole 05:01
We all have the ability to heal ourselves.
Julia Malcolmson 05:06
Which I think is a really wonderful reminder because it's just so many of us have forgotten that we have the ability.
Martin O'Toole 05:14
Well, we forgotten but also we've been conditioned. Yeah, of course. societally in by family and by friends and by the the televisual devices and the internet. And by by the pharmaceutical companies and the doctors, no disrespect to allopathic medicine. It has, it has a crucial part to play but but it's not the be all and end all. And what Alexander and Shayoon do is, is help people work through a distilled set of modalities that they've put together, which helps people help themselves. And there's something he says in the interview about, you know, we're not really healers, we're facilitators or something humble, something humble along those lines that you are your own healer, which I found wonderfully refreshing to hear someone say, the best healers out there enable you to heal yourself. Yeah, they don't heal, you know. So he was really, really, really great fun. And I would love to have him and Shayoon back on the show, actually.
Julia Malcolmson 06:30
Yeah, I think it'd be great to have them both together.
Martin O'Toole 06:32
Yeah, for sure. Okay, shall we listen to the interview?
Julia Malcolmson 06:38
Yeah, here's Alexander Mendeluk.
Martin O'Toole 06:57
Alexander, I was wondering if there was a battle between vampires and werewolves what side would you be
The Poet Yasin 07:07
100% The werewolves because vampires are parasites they suck your energy man and and they walk this planet everywhere. We're trying to change that game. So if parasites coming at me, I'm turning into a werewolf. I'm taking them on the floor, the house.
Martin O'Toole 07:26
Love it? Of course, I'm asking you because so when we did a little bit of research into you know,
The Poet Yasin 07:33
should've known you'd set me up with
Martin O'Toole 07:37
we discovered that you were in the movie Twilight.
The Poet Yasin 07:40
Was that me?
Martin O'Toole 07:41
Well, it was it was I guess what? Alexander version? 1.0?
The Poet Yasin 07:45
Yeah, absolutely. That was a that was the young buck straight out of out of college. And I had been raised on a film set my whole life with my father being a director. And so I was pursuing the path of directing and film school, my acting coach said, hey, you know, you should think about acting professionally. And I said, Nah, you're crazy. I don't want to do that. But he kept on me and then got me an agent in town and I started booking like local pizza gigs and insurance commercials and stupid silly things like that. And then this this film, Twilight came to town and I had no idea what it was. And I got called in for it. And I read for frat boy number one. And I did such a stellar job that if you do say so yourself, two weeks later, I literally thought I didn't get it cuz I didn't hear anything from it. Right? It was crap. Point number one like it was it was kind of ridiculous. And, and I get a call like at nine o'clock, I'm with my friend. Just making music or something in and the casting directors like will you come down here right now? Catherine Hardwick, the director would like to see you and I was like okay, wow, this is this is big. So I went down there and actually read for a different part which was one of Edwards brothers and I was in the running for that for about two weeks and in that moment, I realised wow, like all of a sudden your life can just change like this now I obviously didn't get the lead. But I got frat boy number one I got kicked in the nuts by Kristen Stewart. And that was it baby. That was my 15 minutes of fame. I was going to Hollywood I was gonna be a star was so nuts.
Martin O'Toole 09:21
To claim to fame and a half though nice.
The Poet Yasin 09:23
It was a stepping stone it slingshotted me from Oregon, back down to California where I was from which really began the journey.
Martin O'Toole 09:33
So we're talking to you today from this epic location that unfortunately our listeners cannot fully experience
The Poet Yasin 09:43
got to just close your eyes and envision turquoise blue oceans rolling in deep breaths. The wind and these beautiful green trees with vines and bamboo
Martin O'Toole 09:58
because some flowers as well here and We're in the we're nestled into the cliffside, aren't we at in Bingin?
The Poet Yasin 10:04
It's beautiful.
Julia Malcolmson 10:05
Yeah, very beautiful,
Martin O'Toole 10:06
beautiful location. So, thank you for coming along. We are blessed to have you with me in saying thank you for having me blessed to be here.
The Poet Yasin 10:14
This is definitely the most epic location. I've shot a podcast recorded.
Julia Malcolmson 10:18
We'd like to hear that we'll do this more often.
The Poet Yasin 10:21
You gotta bring video into it. I think you're gonna make it look this sexy.
Martin O'Toole 10:23
We're gonna work on that. Actually, it's only primarily because we just don't have we don't have all the gear. We've got all the gear, but we need another camera and another set of lights. So because if you're going to do it properly, you need two cams, but you don't really will get they're doing great.
The Poet Yasin 10:37
You guys, are pro.
Martin O'Toole 10:38
Thanks, man.
Julia Malcolmson 10:39
So we met you at the cosmic whale, which is a really fabulous storytelling event at drifter cafe. And you told a very beautiful story, which brought tears to both our eyes
Martin O'Toole 10:54
big time.
Julia Malcolmson 10:55
Yeah. And we wondered if you would be able to share that story for our listeners?
The Poet Yasin 11:00
Yes. Do you want the full the full version like like then or do you want a little bit it's truncated,
Martin O'Toole 11:06
truncated.
The Poet Yasin 11:09
To go through to kind of already started. So basically, after a long period in Los Angeles, of getting into the entrepreneurial business and conscious business, for personal change in these types of things, and really pursuing my own gifts and desires, and attraction for healing and the other realms, quantum physics and quantum healing. And meeting my wife Shane Yoon, in a magical experience at Coachella where our souls just reunited, we basically had about a good 10 years, eight years in Los Angeles of transformation and awakening that in itself is a story. But then what happened was we got the visions to go and leave that world behind and create a centre of light, a place for people from all over the world to come, heal, energise grow. And we started travelling the world to find out where this would be because she was having visions of this pyramid of light over this island. And so we landed in a visa, and a visa became our home. And so we started building our dream there and really just moving in the flow source. And who he brought to us developing our practices and helping people heal themselves. And we were about ready to pull the trigger on the property, it was this beautiful resort type of Villa style resort in, in Bali, where we are going to build the light for Senate version 1.0. And the day of we've got all the boxes, packed, we're gonna move into it, I've got our new baby boy, he's about womb two years, almost two, now, I've got our wolf, my wife, like, we can touch it, we can taste it, the dream is there. We've been working on this for our whole lives, you know, and, and I get a call from my lawyer and he says, Alexander don't sign the deal. I said, What do you mean, because we hadn't signed that we're signing the day of moving right. And he's like, we just got the feedback from the council there that there's an illegal build on the property and if you if you buy this, then you're not going to be able to to run it as a business and you'll be up shits creek without a paddle as they say, right? Like, wow, okay, what what does this mean we, we were shattered, we literally devoted over diverted the moving trucks back into our office down down downtown. And then we were on a blow up mattress with the wolf with the baby of the wife with me saying what has just happened, right? So we said, what anybody would say, why don't we go to Bali and just get out of here, you know, so that's exactly what we all said. And so, we went to Bali to regroup. It was supposed to be a two week trip that turned into two years. And during that time, I lost my mother to COVID my father almost lost him to a heart attack and to COVID as well. We were robbed, with attempted kidnapping of my son, Iowa. And through that whole journey of being really cast away from our home and the lock downs happening being stranded in a foreign country, thank God it was this country I'm not complaining. But being in a second third world country without planning on that during the lockdown with a with a child and all these types of things. We were really, really turned upside down in ways that we could have never imagined. And through that trauma through the processing of that and accepting the fact that life wasn't happening to us. It was happening for us. And really leaning into that is when life began to flower and recognised. Wow, can you imagine what would have happened if we went in on a villa property in Ibiza? That you can't run a business and then COVID happens COVID is not good for retreat business. says, you know, and and we were saved, we were saved in the most incredible way. And those two years of incredible pressure and incredible trauma. incredible transformation gave birth to a new process of healing. And that healing modality is called lifeforce healing. We had never taken our healing online, we'd never marketed it. It wasn't something that we were trying to build up yet as a brand or anything like that. But it was clear the message was now it's time to take this to the world to be of service. And so the question was, well, how do we do that we can't see people in person. We're on lockdown. We're in a foreign country, we don't know anybody. Take it online. And we had never considered creating that possibility for people it just hadn't entered into our consciousness yet. And it was because of COVID. And it was because of those lockdowns that birthed the new potential for healing. And so it's that contrast that I find so spectacular, and we just put together a quick website and, and really went deep into meditation and downloaded the plan and put it out there. And we were fully booked. And we've been fully booked, thank thank source, thank god thank the universe, and people started healing themselves. And that was the district difference, it removed us very much from the process of having to be this outside figure that somebody goes to for healing. And we were able to, in support, give them the tools that they needed to actually transform and heal. And so our students have been healing themselves of cancers and tumours and breasts and thyroid tumours and autoimmune diseases, and basically, anything that the Western world says can't be healed. We are seeing people healing themselves up. And, and it's been absolutely magnificent.
Julia Malcolmson 16:55
Wow, that is a really good journey. And I love I love that, you know, when we start to realise that life isn't happening to us, and we allow ourselves to go in with the flow and realise it's happening for us, that's when the magic starts to happen.
The Poet Yasin 17:08
Absolutely.
Martin O'Toole 17:10
There's a lot to unpack there. Because you, you've, you've had an incredibly insane two years, which I suppose too many would be actually too much to contend with. Because you lost your mother. You almost lost your father, your son was kidnapped, almost kidnapped, almost. Yeah. How? How on earth? Did you process that? What was and what? What lessons, did you because you quite clearly, instead of feeling a victim to all of this, you just plucked some gifts? And I'm interested in in how you did that?
The Poet Yasin 17:50
That's a great question. I think this is the way I think it's the way in which all of us have to eventually get to if we're going to find any sort of peace and realise purpose in our lives, is that we have to stop externalising everything. And I think the craziest universal joke is that we are living in an completely energetic plane 99.9999999999% energy. We're technically only point 00000001000 There's 12 zeros in there 1% matter. And yet we think and we're completely fixed on this concept that we are physical beings was everything a physical experience home? Yeah. And, and so when we shift that narrative and the understanding and recognise that everything is happening for us for our own growth, then when we can look at and you have to you have to have a spiritual if you use the word spiritual or energetic connection to something greater than yourself, right, void of of dogma and religion I'm focusing on the fact that we come from an our birth from a source, right, a universal and this is a fact it's, it's proven with with, with physics now, right and quantum physics. And so, when we when we realise that and we stopped being victim to the circumstance then even though it hurts, that's what helps keep the focus through the storm if we can keep our heart attuned to that frequency, which is love. Thank thank creative thank God thank Allah thank source the universe that the default programme is love and not fear. Then when we navigate that storm, what is going to be given are the most incredible gifts that we get to actually level up that we get to move forward that we weren't put here on this earth to do Just live on a beach with you know, stress and pain free. We're, we're given these things so that we can grow. Right. And so it was because of the tools that I had learned that we teach our students. And we can share some of them today, if you want as well, that help us keep moving forward. And I think on an existential level to be of service in the way in which Shane and I are doing at the Lightforce centre with our work, and anybody who's going to say that you're going to help somebody heal themselves? You have you have to have done that yourself. Kudos for yourself. And so that was our tests from the universe to say, All right, you want to step into this ring? Let's see what you really got. And we got, we got beat. Yeah, but we're better for it now. You know. And so I, and now, and now we can help others through their versions of that as well.
Martin O'Toole 20:57
I got a lot of time for that. I think. And we've talked about this a few times on the show, actually, with various healers, because we talked to we talk to healers from all walks of life, you know, could they might be an author might be a psychedelic guide, might be a psychologist, now we're talking to you. But I think one of the things we've noticed and certainly discussed on the show is that there are an awful lot of people coming out as healers now. And and I think there is there's a danger in that because and there are many experts and expert healers now cautioning people about these people, because And lest we forget, I'm not judging, because I think it's a wonderful thing. If you have a healing experience, whatever that is, whatever the modality, the technique that you use, could be breathwork, could be our asker. Could be yoga meditation. You want to you want to share that you could you want to share that and because we want to be in service of others. And I think actually that realisation is a beautiful stage for anyone in their lifetime. However, there are a great many people who have only dip their toe in the water. And then they're going out, I guess positioning themselves as healers, which is where it's is risky business, because they haven't done all the work. Right. And of course, I don't know. Can anybody say that? We've done all the work? You know, I can't say that. No, I've done the work. I'm still doing the work. You know, it's it's an ongoing lesson, isn't it? Yeah. ongoing journey. So I think it's incredibly important that the point you made that You've obviously done enough work to have gone through, wow, two years of intense what some might, some people might feel a suffering and pain, but you just transformed it. And you just plucked the lessons from it. So it's a beautiful story. Thank you. Well, thank you.
The Poet Yasin 23:03
And I want to touch on something you just said because it's really important. One thing is, there's a lot of people who have gone and are going through a lot worse than I ever have. And and I honour the fact that suffering is a part of life, but we don't have to always suffer. And when we look at healing, and this explosion that's taking place on the planet, one part of it is great, because if there's more people wanting to heal, we need more people who can help others heal themselves. That's the shift is that once people start running around saying I'm a healer, it's tricky, because it's still externalising the, and you get the guru complex in that whole thing. However, most of our students have gone on a journey that kind of looks like this, they have experienced some sort of trauma, abuse, relationships, life, this, that and the other you name it insert your own experience, it gets so bad to the point where they're told either they need to they need to go the wetter, the Western medicine route. So they've either had surgeries and medications, and they've done seeing the shrinks and the therapists and they're not healed. Something's not working. They took the pills, they did what they said. And the fact is, they're still suffering. So they start looking for other things, right? I'm here Reiki is nice. And I hear plant medicine is this. And so they go on the journey and they say, I hear I need to meditate, I need to do yoga. And it's not that any of those things aren't beneficial. But the individual who is facilitating whatever that is can only help an individual raise their consciousness to the level that they've attuned themselves to. This, again, is like quantum physics is we can only manifest what we've obtained within ourselves. So to say, I've figured it all out is not I would be lying to you, right? But I've figured enough out within myself that I'm able to help other peoples heal themselves of what they're dealing with. Now. The The final point of this is that our evolution is an ongoing journey that is limitless. And when you really touch the essence of that plant medicine can help us feel that type of just clearing and healing ourselves fully can help us connect to that reality, that expansion will never end. And that's beautiful, because we get to come home, but the healing journey does not have to be a lifelong journey. And that is something we really want to shift in people's perspective, that your healing journey can have a beginning, a middle and an end. We want to not heal for the rest of our lives, we want to get on living and have a life and have a life. Yeah. And it becomes the actual process of going out and trying all these different things can actually create hindrance in the healing process, because you begin to just believe that nothing works and everybody's full of shit, or that you get little incremental growth. But really, I just succumb to the fact that you know what, yeah, I'm better than I was before. But this is kind of where I'm at. And I just live with it. And so we're really focused on what are the specific things that pull from the best of the best of all of it from meditation, to diet, to, to energy work, to, to hypnosis, to quantum healing, to even plant medicine, and put it into a very, very specific process that can allow somebody to fully complete that healing journey. Within a few weeks, no matter where they're coming from, and then they can attune to the purpose. And the magic that happens when they fully healed themselves. When you can look yourself in the mirror and say, Oh, my God, I look back at the whole lifetime of trauma, this lifetime, and past lineages and lifetime fully cleared, fully cleared, meaning I have zero negative emotional charges to anything in my life. What happens is your body naturally heals itself on its own. So it's not even you having to do the healing work. It's you having to clean all of the wounds that allow and then what happens is, well, now what? Now what do I do on the other side of my pain on the other side of my suffering, and then that's when purpose comes into play?
Martin O'Toole 27:19
Beautiful,
Julia Malcolmson 27:20
and a big part, isn't it? So you're really empowering people to heal themselves. So we're going inwards. You know, we're always looking for the outer guru, we're always looking for another teacher, another healer. But getting that we've all got that power within ourselves.
The Poet Yasin 27:34
150,000,000% sister, that's what I'm talking about! That's it. That's the message like, if anybody takes anything from this, just please embody that and go on that journey, knowing that that's the truth.
Martin O'Toole 27:50
But it's such a it's a difficult truth for a lot of people. In everyday life. I say everyday life, I'm gonna say, it's not fair to say people in the West because I think there are people, for example, living in cities all around the world who are on the rat race on the in the rat race on the hamster wheel plugged. Every which way, where all of this quote came from, there's some of the most culturally programmed and it's it's, it's all over. And it's flipping because actually, the, I'm gonna say the virus of the matrix is coming over to the to the east, and I see it more and more when I'm in Denpasar here, for example, but But what kind of practical utilities could we give someone who knows deep down that they want to do this work? But time and attention poor? Probably commuting for an hour, two hours every day, you know, into the office grind, doing a job that frankly, they really don't want to do? yatta yatta yatta? What's the entry level for these people?
The Poet Yasin 28:54
Well, the beautiful thing is, is that it doesn't matter if you've been on this journey for your whole entire life. And you've you've literally in your mind, feel like you've done everything. That's one of the biggest things we hear Alexander I've tried everything. So like, honestly, I'm a bit sceptical, like what is different with you, you know, and what you guys do. And then if you're the person who's just beginning, I like the person who's just I like, I love the boat. I love anybody willing to heal. But I really do love the individual who's got no idea because they step into this without all of that condition, a sponge, a sponge, and very vulnerable and naive. And that's where we have to be if we want to heal, we have to get out of our minds that we know everything. And we've done everything and we have to surrender and truly number one, we have to ask ourselves, are we ready to heal? Are we ready to confront all of those things that we've spent our whole lives suppressing? Because we've had to survive, you know, a child who has been raped? 90% of the women that we work with have suffered sexual abuse. It's the most that you want to talk about a pandemic. You know, let's talk about child sex trafficking, what's really happening? My point is, is that we have to number one, be honest with ourselves, and I'll be ready to do that. Now, the fear of looking at that is always much greater than the actual part of the healing process, the healing process is fun, it's actually really easy, it happens really fast. Once you get to that decision, the decision is 90% of it. So step one, we've got a three kind of parts to this that I think individuals can take away and then we can go deeper unpack it, unpack like I like. Number one is we have to have a morning ritual practice, where we show up for ourselves before we check in with the rest of the world. And if you look at any great, I think spiritual lineage, like the monks, the the Buddhist monks, right, they, they said the same thing, they have a morning ritual where they get up and they make their bed and they sit down and they they meditate and then they make sure they're of service, whether that's to their family to somebody else, we have to do this. It's a conditioning of the mind body spirit. So number one, your morning ritual for us. Our morning ritual is a very specific meditation you wake up, you don't check your phone before you go to bed before you wake up basic things we've heard before. Make some tea, sit down, and then really connect and this meditation that we give, which I'd love to give as a gift to anybody listening, listening here, if they like it, amazing. You can just, you know, click the link wherever this is gonna be and check it out. That morning ritual, when you do the meditation, it's designed to lower your stress, lower your anxiety increased beautiful feelings of self love, and joy. So you're releasing dopamine, and you're feeling great. These are the benefits of meditation. Everybody knows them. Many people say it's hard for me to meditate. And then it is hard to meditate if you're just trying to silence your mind. I know a lot of people are great at silence their mind for 20/30 minutes, but then get back in the car and like puck you to the guy who cuts them off or you know, like, that's not what the point is. So then we need step two. Step two, is we have to clear all of the negative emotional programming that is making your mind run to begin with. And I think this is the biggest differentiation between traditional arts of meditation it's not that meditation can't fully heal you but some of the great Yogi's will even say it takes a lifetime to meditate through your karma, we ain't got that time anymore, guys like Louie, this, the Titanic is hit the iceberg shit is thinking we need to do this now. So when you clear all of your negative programming, and we'll get into what that looks like, when you sit down to meditate, those things aren't in your head. So it's easy to have peaceful thoughts and makes the whole meditation process much more enjoyable. Especially when it's guided with a nice deep voice and beautiful music, to transcend into the ether and call and source to ignite your hearts. Imagine that every day, you know, you're gonna show up in a completely different way. And you see an increase in all things good in your life. Number two, when when you clear and for anybody listening to this to whether you're going to use any modality, the whole point is we have to clear, not 50% or 25% or 75% or 99% 100% of our negative emotional programming. And we have to get specific with it. So we can't focus on the anxiety we have. We can't focus on the cancer we don't focus on the GI issues or the arthritis in the hands or the deviated disc. Those are symptoms of suppressed emotions.
Martin O'Toole 33:31
You being interrupted by Ati and Muda. Sorry,
The Poet Yasin 33:36
no worries,
Martin O'Toole 33:37
sorry, to Alexander and indeed our listeners, but as you know, these two like to make an appearance on every podcast.
The Poet Yasin 33:43
yapping at the models down there on the beach. The photoshoot
Martin O'Toole 33:46
models or monkeys?
The Poet Yasin 33:48
Oh yeah. Could be the monkeys too.
Martin O'Toole 33:49
Yeah, we had some monkeys visit
The Poet Yasin 33:51
what's the difference? Yes, kidding. I love all you models.
Martin O'Toole 33:57
For any monkeys listening to this podcast? We apologise
The Poet Yasin 34:04
All right, well, yeah. Where was I so so we have to clear 100% Which means that when you think back to the time when you know my my father hit me an eight, you're gonna have a whole host of emotions from that trauma. I felt unloved. I felt abandoned. I felt worthless, I felt unprotected. The time when the kids bullied me on the on the playground for three years. You know, I felt the same things rejected not good enough unworthy the time when I had my heart broken for the first time, the time when this the time when that and what we do is we literally fill up a whole Excel sheet with sometimes 1000s of these lines. And it's just like this, you can write this down. The time when this thing happened. Insert the thing that happened. I felt this emotion. And what it allows anybody listening to do is to feel where we're holding that in emotion, that negative charge in the system. Now remember going back to the beginning where 99.999999999999% energy, and thoughts create energy. Now, it's not just all in the mind, that's what they say. But it's actually also stored in the memory of our cells in our body. So when the body is breaking down, then that's the body actually telling you, there's something to be addressed. And it's normally speaking in metaphor. So when we say we have cold feet, or butterflies in our stomach, we're used to kind of these analogies, but when you have a heart condition, guaranteed, there's something around lack of love, or lack of self love, when you have cancer, guaranteed, most of the time, guaranteed most of the time, it's, it's suppressed. Anger, or trauma or abuse that's being held in the body that are creating cancerous thoughts that could distort the function of the cells. And you know, there's amazing work being done that, that actually proves that our thoughts can change our genetics. So when we get to this understanding, we actually then learn how to clear those things, the body starts healing itself on its own. And I use the analogy of the knife, like, if you were to cut your hand, you wouldn't just go about touching doorknobs and driving around and shaking hands with people because your hand would get infected, it would be really gross, and it became acid my door handle and fall off, you know, I don't even want to talk to you, right? And so what do you do you clean the wound, you wrap it, you really forget about it. You don't irritate it, and the body heals itself. Well, we have a southern atomic nervous system that is constantly in a self regenerative process. It's amazing. So healing isn't reserved to any one individual or not. Or it's not just some miracle that happens to one person. And that some, the miracle of healing is a process that is already happening within all of us. So we've been cut 1000s of times in our lives. And very few of those wounds have been cleaned. And so they festered over time. So when we just learn how to clean those, the body heals. And then step three is when you field, what are you going to do? What are you going to do with your new life? We've been so attached to the pain attached to the suffering, how are we going to be of service and purpose? Everybody's like, What is my purpose? Well, this is a key, the prerequisite to purpose is healing. And I was doing a lot of work with entrepreneurs and people in that space, you know, getting clear on vision, mission purpose, and we've heard a lot of that stuff and personal development, you got to know your vision, you got to know that. And naturally, always what would happen is we look at what are the roadblocks from getting you there. And it was just the hosts of trauma, pain and suffering. So So what happens if we clear that first? And then we approach purpose? Well, what starts happening is now when you're meditating as a fully healed being. Now when you're showing up and your morning rituals, when you're showing up in service, you're getting visions, you're getting downloads, you're getting inspirations, you're manifesting not out of some egoic desire that some dude told you on a movie to do like get the car and the thing No, no, you are magnetising life towards you without even having to try because you are in the frequency of purpose, which is your unique energetic fingerprint, which is like your sole script from the Creator. You don't have to do anything, you have to be it. And when you're that frequency, it just arrives and we're talking about instant manifestation. And then you add the old school manifestation techniques to it like okay, now I want to visualise this incredible thing to help humanity. Boom, you're adding gasoline to the fire and it just starts rolling, baby.
Martin O'Toole 38:42
Buddy, if you were holding that microphone, I would invite you to drop it.
The Poet Yasin 38:50
Dropped.
Martin O'Toole 38:54
absolutely epic. Well, there's so much to unpack there as well. But yeah, I think the main thing that I take away from what you're saying is it's an invitation to people to really, really realise that we have that power. Yeah. And it's it is there are years and years of conditioning, societal, workplace, religious, medical, political, we are we are, we have been conditioned to believe that we that we, that we don't have sovereignty, we've in many cases, we've given our sovereignty away. 100%. And I think that's why the this is exactly why we do this podcast, right, because we want to talk to people like you who can give your perspective on on how people can take the control back, take their power back. Yeah. And ultimately help themselves instead of looking to a saviour figure. It's not going to happen that way. It's not and of course, it's inviting a Drama Triangle, right? Yeah. And we we know what happens with it. Drama Triangle, if I walk in as a victim, and somebody rescues me, ultimately there's going to be some sort of a tussle. And I'm going to wind up playing another role in that. And it's not going to be a positive one. So I love it. I absolutely love everything you're bringing to the table today is
The Poet Yasin 40:18
sovereignty is so key, if we will look to the future now, how do we be of service and what this means is, you're absolutely right. And, and you're gonna have you have a few types of people in in this, that you have those that no matter what, and these are the hardest because they're normally like your family members. And they're there, they've been in a generation, you know, and you're waking up and those around you aren't. And no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how many facts, no matter how much truth you put in front of like you said, it's like you're an apple, or operation, right? You're just not even there, you're either not there, or you're crazy, are you crazy, right? So you're not going to change those people. And we're not interested in that, because they're playing that role that they have to play at this time. And that's fine, it can hurt when they're close to you. But we have to accept that right. And then there's those who are on the complete other side of the spectrum that are just so far off in, in the light and this and that and disconnected from from reality that they they get a bad rap. And you know, you have a whole host of distortion that takes place on that far end. And then you have the people who kind of in the middle who are want who are wanting to they want, they're waking up, they want to wake up, they may not know how they don't know what steps to take. And that's why this type of thing is so great. What you guys are doing is to invite people into a conversation to shift the perspective. And that's what takes the power back. Like when people ask about government and politics and Big Pharma and medical and war and the rain forests and climate change and all these things that are going on. That's not the problem. And we waste our times with a bunch of unconscious individuals trying to create conscious solutions for the planet, it can't happen that the same thing is going to the half Healed person looking for for healing. How the fuck is this humanity at this current stage in time going to create the solutions that our Earth needs? Well, she's already got them, she gave us an opportunity to heal ourselves and become one with her and with each other. And until we go inward. That's the only way forward. And and that's when the solutions happen, right? When we inward when we when we heal ourselves, then we can start bringing the conscious frequency necessary for helping to create those solutions that are needed.
Martin O'Toole 42:46
It's almost as if I told you, I was going to read this quote. So there's a beautiful book by Yung Pueblo called inward. And if you guys haven't read it, I thoroughly recommend you stick it right in your top five.
The Poet Yasin 43:01
Okay.
Martin O'Toole 43:02
And here's a short quote from begin healing ourselves. It sets off waves that connect us to those who have healed in the past and those who will heal in the future. When we heal ourselves, it gives strength to those who need more support to take on their own personal healing journey. What we do reverberates throughout time and space, like a rock thrown into a lake. Circles it creates moves in all directions.
The Poet Yasin 43:33
It's not me to it's almost as if like this is already been written us being here, right? Well, if I can pick up from that, please do is is this is so beautiful, is that when for those of you who are listening, who are scared who are wondering, what do I do? How do I be of service? Do I go left? Do I go right? Do I go up? Do I go down that quote right there sums it all up. Because when we heal ourselves, not only are we healing the present timeline, and it naturally affects our family and those around us just through osmosis. When we truly heal, we have to clear our past karma and trauma to so we're actually helping complete the work of our ancestors get off the karmic wheel as well. And they're normally having your back bringing you to the situations in your life and the wake up calls that you need. So you're healing your past. And then as you create offspring and have families and children, you're consciously parenting them. Without the trauma from past generations, you've now completely healed the future timeline. And their children and their children are going to affect millions and potentially billions of people. So you've actually healed the future to you actually, by healing yourself, touched billions of conscious beings that you'll never even know. It's the single most powerful and important thing that you can do. So if you're asking yourself Word, what do I do? Do that?
Martin O'Toole 45:03
Please.
The Poet Yasin 45:04
And then the answers come, they this come after that they come on the journey and then we realise, wow, like, all of this was architected, for me going back to the original,
Martin O'Toole 45:13
just breaking the cycle isn't it as well, I think that's a really wonderful thing for anyone to take on board here because we are, we're born into samsara. We're born into a world of pain and suffering and, and of course, fear, whilst isn't the primary frequency, it's very strong within all of us, isn't it and, and it's very easy, I think, especially in this day and age with the, the cloud, the dark cloud over the planet at the moment for people to, to not be able to rise out of fear out of that fear state. And actually, if we can just get a few people to consider and this is why I say look, I'm not here to water your garden, but I'll definitely throw some I'll plant some seeds, you know, because we've, we've all got to want to heal ourselves. But if a few people just start to do this work, and they are and start to really become self aware, and they are and that and then take self responsibility, and so on and so forth. And we can finally start to see our trauma and we can start to see how our trauma affects not just us and our physicality and our physiology and as as as you said causes as illness but how it affects everyone else around us and it's it's it's a it was a lesson I learned this I spent 20 years as a hard drinking cocaine an alcoholic excuse me a coke cocaine addict and alcoholic incredibly selfish. a narcissist suffering from narcissistic personality disorder I was I was I mistreated most of the women who I came into contact with and business partnerships, friendships, I threw hand grenades everywhere I was a wounded child, a Martin version 1.0 was,
The Poet Yasin 47:08
did you know him then?
Julia Malcolmson 47:09
I did not know. version two.
Martin O'Toole 47:16
Nobody, you know, want to know about the version 1.0. But I looked at guy and I am grateful to him for his lessons. However, I had to I really had to face up to some shizzle you know, I'd cause an awful lot of damage. And fortunately, I was able to do so and and in doing so already being overtly honest. Now, on the one hand, that was incredibly dishonest because I was a lying cheating addict, you know, narcissistic addicts. But on the other hand, I would always say what was on my mind. Actually, that's not necessarily true. But you know what I'm coming where I'm coming from I was vocal, I think is the point. Having then made my transformation. I'm very keen now just to be 100% authentic all the time. And actually, that's part of the reason why we're doing this podcast because I will, I'll tell anybody, anything. They need to hear about what I used to do when I used to think and say and the the incredibly terrible behaviour that I used to. That used to be part of my daily practice. You know, my daily practice we're talking about daily practice was was abusing other people were using myself. You know, that was your morning ritual. Yeah, totally. And so for me now, I think authenticity is like a big, big, a big key for people. You've got to just be honest with yourself. Let me ask you a question. Because narcissistic disorder is one of the hardest to turn around. Yeah, narcissists. Never know that narcissists know, they don't know that. And they definitely don't want to change, right, because it's about protection of the eagle and but to such a large and they're smart, and they're coming and they're manipulative. So to realise that and awaken, and truly transform is, is a very big feat. What was the catalyst for you? Well, I would say it's, it was a long process. My, my mother was an alcoholic. And so I learned, I learned that behaviour. And I grew up in a in a fairly traumatic household as a child with two brothers. And so we were in fight or flight from day one, and we learned some very unhealthy ways of interacting. And of course, I learned very unhealthy ways to interact with with women because my mother, you know, my mother figure, the role model, a female role model for the first eight years of my life was an alcoholic and so I had no intimacy I got I didn't get enough cuddles. I didn't get enough attention. She was always in the in the room drunk. And this is what created my sense synaptic pathways. She died too. And when she died, there was an awful lot of unresolved trauma. And there were an awful lot of conversations that I really wished I had been able to have with her that I couldn't have. And of course, when you combine that with the grieving process, it's a Trump Smash. It's a it's a nasty, nasty place to be, or it can be Yeah, for me it was I drank more I did my drugs. I eventually put a loaded shotgun in my mouth and came this close to killing myself as he was my Beagle that saved my life. Last night a beagle said no, no. What do you do? She She just sat in the room, she just sort of pushed the door open, sat in a room and just looked at me and I don't know to this day, whether or not that look was of course you do do that? Of course you do. What was it? I'm hungry. What I do on another episode of feed me first. Yeah, before you pretty dark for you check out buddy. Can you open that that picture the doors open? Alright, so that was a that was part of it. But then I, having almost killed myself. And I was cheating on my partner at the time, shortly, many weeks after my mother had died. And all of this just hit me. And I had this realisation. Hang on a minute, this is it, you know, and I put my head through a window, I got a drink of biology and I put my head through a window arch, slice my arm up. And the next day, I just had this realisation you're at rock bottom, and you have to change and so I started to see a therapist. That works. That was great. But the long one, step one, and we're talking about five six year proposers. But that was a really long response to your question. I would say actually, what really flipped the script for me was I Ayahuasca plant medicine. And I've talked about this on the show before Ayahuasca, there's many things for many people, and everyone's journey is different. But one of the things it does quite often is, is put you back into life situations and represent you not just with the other person's perspective, or the person in the corners perspective, not even a 360 degree perspective, you get like a 4k perspective of your actions. And in in that realisation, I was able to suddenly heal that that game and
The Poet Yasin 52:34
was When did plant medicine come in at the beginning like right after therapy or was that a little bit longer down the yourney?
Martin O'Toole 52:40
Two years? Only two years? Two and a half years ago? Two years ago? Yeah. And I'm I was 46 couple of weeks ago so I consider February the I think it was the fifth 2019 Is my rebirth day. Wow. Congratulation. Amazing, had the grandmother the first night and I had the grandfather the next day, the next morning. So from Ayahuasca going into huachuma a couple of times and that was an that was it felt like 1000 years out out in the in the space as she was only what a few hours. But it was profound healing lesson after lesson after lesson after lesson. So yeah, I've written about narcissistic personality disorder and Narcissus because, and we have people contacting us with regarding that and sadly, it's mainly women who are victims of narcissism. It's a big thing. And they and they always say, man, thank you for sharing your truth. I'm living with a narcissist or I'm a victim of a narcissist, and I cannot even have this conversation with them. Yeah, of course you can't because a narcissist if you tried to have that conversation with a narcissist they would gaslight you and make you feel like you were crazy. wouldn't
The Poet Yasin 53:53
blame me for it?
Martin O'Toole 53:54
Totally. It's a it's a tricky space. And I'd love to talk about narcissism again at some point because because lest we forget, a narcissist is more often than not a victim of domestic abuse of child abuse in some way shape or form because they they never had that that safe pair of hands looking after them. They never had that intimacy, which is why they have to create this construct of control. Anyway, we're here to talk about you not me.
The Poet Yasin 54:22
Oh, it's all a part of it.
Julia Malcolmson 54:24
Yeah, I would love to say something about your healing journey journey though because you like like the clients we talked about at the beginning you approach your healing from a very open minded beginner's mind space, you know, you're very almost very innocent with it. So you don't don't come into anything with I know this already. No, I think that's been really helpful for you. And then it's now helpful for people that you share it with because you're so open to talking about your journey and you kind of talk about it with so much excitement when you talk about each modality that you've you've used Yeah, it's lovely to see that you know, and see someone's so open to trying it and to innocently talking about their experience.
Martin O'Toole 55:05
Well, I'm looking at traumatised kid in a candy shop.
The Poet Yasin 55:11
I'll take it all.
Martin O'Toole 55:13
But it's interesting. I was thinking about what you were saying earlier on about how you have a lot of people who come to say, I've tried it all doesn't work. And of course, there are so many choices on the lest we forget we have everything. I mean, let's let's go through the shopping list of options. Now we have yoga, we have breathwork we have quantum healing hypnosis technique, Q HHT. We have all just hypnotherapy. We have plant medicine, we have Reiki we have Qigong, tai chi, martial arts in general. And I, I, when I first came to Bali, I spent two years doing no work, just the work. So I was in the pyramids of chi doing the sound healing, I was in the yoga classes every day, I was doing breath work couple of times a week. And obviously, I wasn't doing plant medicine here, because it's not legal in Bali, or Indonesia. But I went to Peru and and the Amazon and hung out with a tribe called noki kwin when the plant medicine with a whole village which was being well, incredible. But I think actually, I'm now in a in the place where I need to refocus. Where I need to now say, Okay, what works for me, you know, like you're saying, You've cherry picked and distilled into a into a practice, just just so I can ensure that I stay on track. I've done a lot of the work. But I think it's very easy for us to fall back into our old ways into our old modalities. And because there's an awful there are an awful lot of synaptic pathways that need to be cleaned, need to be repaired.
Julia Malcolmson 56:52
You need you need consistency. Yeah, if you could do a different modality, every day of the week, you could do a different meditation every day of the week. There's so many choices out there. But you really need consistency.
The Poet Yasin 57:03
That's why with with our students who naturally have this one, I think support is really big. So community now especially in a world that's trying to pull us all apart, having a community of people who are all on the same journey together in their own way showing up for each other every single day. This has been a big focus for us, because we notice we have these incredible one on one experiences with our students online or in person. And then they would still keep reaching out say, hey, what about this? What about that, and this life, or hey, I've fallen off and need some some help back getting back on which is natural, right. And so what we did was we created a community online where people could then show up every day, we do group meditations. And so I think finding your own community of people who are truly like minded and aligned with what we're talking about in there. And I'm sure it's beautiful communities all over the world, I think support is really key. But at the end of the day, you're right consistency is keys that this isn't something that you start and stop, we heal ourselves so that we can continue to show up as the and manifest happiness and joy. And that is like nurturing the garden like you say. So if you're not showing up for yourself every single day, this is why we say the morning ritual, like you have to have that it's You can't escape that if you want to keep your vibration high and and and if you if anybody has committed to to sitting with themselves every single morning and really tuning in, they'll know the difference between the quality of their life that day versus when they fall off of it right and so it becomes the way it's not something you started stop this is something that you continue to do for the rest of your life to evolve. And so when we get out of the healing phase then it's like that's part of the evolution but then we're really getting into the the evolution phase but how are we evolving as a human species? We're actually increasing our light our genetics are actually changing we're actually rising into a new frequency a new consciousness and this is in support of the birth of the New Earth and and that's a whole other thing but but we do all that healing so we can get on with it.
Martin O'Toole 59:14
Yeah, you know, beautiful and and as you say then on to the next stage of our life because we quite often I suspect, just think this is it. This shit is what I have to do for the rest of my life. I have to eat work, sleep repeat sleep, repeat pay taxes get paid up sometimes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And then on a Friday and a Saturday get absolutely smashed to a some exercise in in relief and coping. Yeah, so so often we think that is going to be I certainly felt that way. I genuinely did. I thought this is it. I'm never getting out and there's some stood already
The Poet Yasin 59:56
the majority of the world probably feels that way and there's definitely an Awakening, even in the entrepreneurial space, it was it was interesting to see just a few years ago about this laptop entrepreneur who was meditating and being self aware and talking about these things. And so all the tools are there for us to completely change and transform. And obviously, the distance between where we are now and where we want to be is only as big as we believe it to be. And, and so that's why the process of healing people say, I don't know what my purpose is, I don't know why I'm here as a heal yourself. You'll find out. Yeah. And then on the other side of that, really, the journey gets fun.
Martin O'Toole 1:00:38
Yeah, yeah, I can absolutely attest to that. And like I said, Exactly. 46 A couple of weeks ago, nearly killed myself more than ones, three nervous breakdowns, addict alcoholic, Tram smash of a human being now went alive. It just went
The Poet Yasin 1:00:56
Living in Bali with a beautiful lady by yourself creating conscious awareness for people while watching the ocean. On the white sand beach like with a big old smile and right
Julia Malcolmson 1:01:07
Well, I'm a huge fan of impermanence, you know, everything the one the one universal constants is in constant is change. And, and the only thing standing between us and any of that is choice.
Martin O'Toole 1:01:24
On the subject of choice, we have a couple of questions for you from
The Poet Yasin 1:01:27
beautiful.
Martin O'Toole 1:01:28
So let's see what they gotta say
1:01:53
1:01:53
1:01:53
1:01:53
Martin O'Toole 1:01:58
Sorry. I keep playing that for longer and longer every time because I absolutely love this piece of music by a chap called Dwayne Forrest.
The Poet Yasin 1:02:06
Thank you, Dwayne. Was that the question?
Martin O'Toole 1:02:08
No. It was the answer question number one.
Steffi 1:02:15
Hi, Alexander. I'm Steffi from Sydney. And the question I have is mostly around feelings of unworthiness. I've had a really difficult day, I've received some intense criticism on my work, which has kept me afloat for some time, while I have dealt with some trauma, and I just wonder how you would approach feelings of deep unworthiness when when presented with harsh criticism?
The Poet Yasin 1:02:49
That's a great question. Wow. And thank you for question.
Martin O'Toole 1:02:52
Yeah. Thanks for being so authentic there.
The Poet Yasin 1:02:53
Yeah, that was so vulnerable. And thank you for even wanting to ask the question. So I think two things came when listening to you that questions is one, you've got something that's just happened. So there's a trauma around self worth now, and that's probably very real, that's very visceral, very painful, right? And that could create a whole host of anxiety and feelings of lack of self worth and not good enough. So you've got the immediate kind of Tiger in the woods right now. And, and you're in that fight or flight, right? And then there's probably themes, you said deep trauma themes from the paths, the past of self worth issues, right? So the answer is, to clear both. We have to, you have to know, we all have to know that any of those feelings of lower vibration, that are out of love, are not true. The only great truth is that you are love you are made from love, your creation is love. And we know that because as a fact, because when you remove all of the things that are not that it's what is left within you a beautiful welling up of self worth, because that stems from self love, self worth and self love, to me are the same thing. So number one, is to go back through your whole entire life and look at and map out all the times that this has happened to you. All the archetypes and the figures in your life that have created this narrative in you, subconsciously and consciously listening that you're not good enough that what you do isn't good enough. And I'm assuming because of most people that starts when you're a child, probably in the household, kids life, people are mean. And you've got to clear that because what's going to happen is you're going to subconsciously keep manifesting that in your current expression which is happening now. So then the immediate real lif is I want you to sit down and anybody can do this. All right, she sit down, I want you to think about the time when this certain this criticism happened. And you can use your own terminology. And I felt lack of self worth, well, you probably also feel fear and maybe you feel anxiety and maybe you feel insert your emotions and you should probably have minimum of five to 10 emotions if you really want to get it good. And then I want you to ask yourself on a scale of zero to 1010 being the worst zero being you can't feel it at all. Where's my lack of self worth? As it relates to that specific moment in time not generally, as a human being this is where we, this is where we get general results. Specifically, in this moment, the time when that happened, let's say to 10 All right, go down the list. 567, you put a number next to all those emotions in the process to clear this anybody can do. It's the it's really the easiest thing. It takes a little practice like going to the gym, but you just sit, connect to your heart. I want you to think about something or someone that you love. And when you feel that love light up in your heart, that's when you're activated. Now use the frequency of love to alchemize anything that rises from fear. And you can hop between the two really quick but fear cannot exist in an activated heart. So we use that medicine and I want you to then feel into an ask yourself, Where is this feeling of self worth being stored in my body? Maybe it's in your heart? Maybe it's your stomach? Maybe it's your eyes, your face? Maybe it's in your hands? Most everybody can feel it? And can you associate a colour with it? Ask yourself okay, the time when this happened, I felt like a self worth. Oh yeah, it's in my stomach and it's red, and it's black, and I've got it in my heart. Okay, so now you know where it is. And this is important so that you can visualise the process of moving it then I want you to do is I want you to ask whether you connect with source or Allah or Yahweh or a deity, whatever you connect to God, I want you to ask for that energy to help you move this out the body and you breathe in big deep breaths, have beautiful golden light into the nose. Swirl it around and around that feeling in the stomach of a heart wherever it is, and lift it up into the mouth and blow it out as much as you can. Now we're using breathwork and visualisation and intention and prayer, breathing, lifting. And now if it's really big emotion, I want you to get a pillow so that your neighbours don't think you crazy, I want you to scream it out as loud as you can big three deep screams, scream it out. And then bring it back down into centre. Let the energy calm. Read the sentence to yourself. Again, the time when this happened, I felt this emotion that lack of self worth and see where it's at on the scale of zero to 10. Most, most times, it'll drop by 50%. Sometimes you clear the whole thing and you go and you do it again until it's at zero. And then just like a house of cards, you'll notice all those other emotions you wrote around the scenario start falling on their own. And if you clear the core emotion, it is a house of cards, the whole thing falls apart and gets obliterated, and then you feel incredible, then you feel light, then you'll feel that self worth coming back up into your heart again, and you'll realise you know what, that has nothing to do with me. That's that other individuals own bullshit programme that they're projecting onto me. And I see it for what it is. And you'll even I guarantee even start feeling compassion for that individually. Right. And so that's that's the basics right there. And again, anybody listening to this, that's a practical execution of something that will you can heal anything with just that part of it alone. Great advice. Works. That's a really nice process. I hope that answers your question. I think it did it. Also. Beautiful. Yeah. And some great tools that everybody Yeah, you can feel it and stuff comes at us every single day. So even when you're quote fully healed, you get smashed. And so, you know, how did I navigate the storm? Like I would sit down every morning that stuff would come up and I do exactly what I just said when my mom died the number one pain I was feeling was grief. And and so I was like why do I have this grief? And it came you feel guilty? Okay, well, why do you feel guilty? Because you didn't spend enough time with her. That was my story. Right? And so I said, Okay, well, I don't I don't want that story. I want to let that go right. I'm gonna hold on to that and just my love for her is not going to be justified by how much guilt I have for the rest of my life. So let's let that go. And I did the exact same thing, let it out. And just like that the winds blew and my mom's spirit was there. They're and I've known her around me and I haven't grieved for passing ever since it was that it was that easy. So when you get used to the process of constantly cleansing and not allowing for longer than a 24 hour period, literally, this isn't this is should be a mantra, I'm not going to allow for more than 24 hours for this negative frequency to stay with me anymore. And you sit down and you you clear. And then you get better and better at it.
Martin O'Toole 1:10:29
Yeah, and practice literally makes makes me if it doesn't, I think it'll be an obvious thing for me to perhaps say but the key to all of this is conscious awareness. First and foremost, isn't it? It's the ability to, to see the noise, the noise in your heart, the noise in your mind, whatever it whatever that voice is saying. And in in Stephanie's case, obviously some issues with self esteem, perhaps, because people have made her feel a certain way so many times perhaps, actually, that becomes a loop, doesn't it? A vortex loop in the mind, the monkey mind is that you the ego is telling you stories, and it's it's creating your identity for you. Certainly, from my perspective, one of the things I learned to do was to, to observe the monkey mind to observe that noise and observe the voice in my head. And when I realised that I was observing the voice in my mind, I realise, well hang on a minute. If I can see that voice, then I'm not my mind. So what am I
The Poet Yasin 1:11:38
who am I?
Martin O'Toole 1:11:42
welcome to consciousness. And that was it. And I think Eckhart Tolle talks about this in the power of now, which is probably also my top five books for people early doors on their journey. Great. That was a key for me. mazing amazing book.
The Poet Yasin 1:11:58
And yeah, that's as a gateway drug that book
Martin O'Toole 1:12:00
that's the real gateway. Yeah, that's the good gateway drug. It traumas, the real gateway drug. But we can get into that in another episode. But he he talks about teaching yourself to Rise, Rise Above The Noise rise above the distortion, if you like and sit in a higher seat and observe it, don't judge it. Don't try and manipulate it, don't mess with it, just observe it. And in that observation and breathing through the observation and realising that you are observing it you are having conscious awareness your consciousness has taken us is having a girl driving the earth rover for a change, and the monkey is in the back. And as I have used the metaphor with some gaffa tape on it's a gum chained up
The Poet Yasin 1:12:49
That was amazing advice. Being objective, being objective to the experience. And that's actually part of the meditation we do every morning is that may I be consciously objective versus subjectively pulled into the drama and the narrative of others in the world so you can see it? I'm kind of having this out of body experience right now being objective to this whole thing. Who am I? Yeah, I was gonna say that on that point, and then let you do your thing is one of the great messages I received with grandmother. I had my full Kundalini activation with her. I felt it coming and she was the one who who facilitated that was at the end of it after this huge cosmic reunion was this. There's nothing left of me, but infinity. That I'm nothing and everything. Oh, that same time. It's incredible. Yeah, it's pretty. It's a pretty amazing message to receive, isn't it? You gotta you gotta go there to feel it. Right. But when you're there, it all makes clicks. Yes. But then to to become everything. You have to become nothing. Exactly. What can't explain it?
Martin O'Toole 1:14:08
We kind of Can't we talk about duality, non duality and non attachment in another episode. Question number two.
tacy 1:14:16
Hello, I'm Tacy. I'm in Jersey Channel Islands. Alexandre, I was hoping to ask you about the process of integration. I feel like I've dieted in and around a few different healing modalities, but never really consciously been taking the time to integrate those or been led to integrate them in some form or another. So I was wondering if there's a process that you like to go through or that you advise for people. Thank you. Bye.
The Poet Yasin 1:14:48
Yeah, these are great question.
Martin O'Toole 1:14:51
Yeah, we got kind of an aware audience going on.
The Poet Yasin 1:14:55
Find these beautiful people.
Martin O'Toole 1:14:56
It's on our website, and it's a good question on our website. There is a section where you can essentially record is how to die happy podcast.com forward slash on dash, the dash show. And you'll also see the profiles of all the guests links through to the guests. But also at the bottom, there's a bloomin great big button, click on that, and you can record a question for our guests. So please do that's awesome. I dig that I dig that.
The Poet Yasin 1:15:21
So integration, this is yeah, this is super important that we kind of touched on this before when you can have this incredible healing experience. And you disintegrate all the stuff that was and then you sit there and you say, well, now what do I do? What do I do with my life? How do I how do I integrate that whole experience and generally speaking, not knowing your specific experience, this is the process of purpose that we call so we call it purpose manifestation. That you've got to be able to take them the whole narrative of your life's journey. And so one of the one of the exercises is looking at your life turns looking at the part of your narrative, your story where you used to be here, stressed, depressed, broken this and that. And you have your whole narrative, I was abused as a child, and yada, yada, yeah, and this has led to this and throwing myself through windows and shotgun in my mouth. And like the whole, that's the old story. And then I discovered this, and I went on this journey. And now I'm this or I'm in the process of this. And so you can actually through the creative process of writing these life turns, we call them, you can begin to actually really assimilate and put into the 3d world through the creative process of writing, and storytelling, because storytelling is one of the most powerful forms of communication and healing. And we go through this process where we literally identify your archetypes and your character, and who is this person we're playing now? Right? And what are her qualities now that she's here on this other side of healing or in the process of it and and then we distil down your values that you live by now. So they've always been running in the subconscious mind. But now you can bring them fourth fourth, consciously. So really writing down and identifying your values and then using those as lenses to navigate the world and then really looking and being honest with Okay, well, where am I now? Where am I on this journey I use, I like to use Joseph Campbell's The Hero's Journey archetype. Hero of 1000 faces his book where he looks at all of the narratives, the great narratives since the beginning of time, and they all have this journey. Well, we're all on our own heute hero's healing journey. So you've you've you're somewhere where you've heeded the call, you've left the comfort of your home, you've met a guidance, some teachers who have brought you down into the depths of your hell, you have to confront your ego, right, and all that you are afraid of, and defeat the beast, which is really the death that you go at death. And now you're beginning to rise up now the hero comes back up with the wisdom on the other side. So really understanding what is your purpose now? Or at least what are these insights that you have now that you can help with your experience? is what gives you the expertise and the the authenticity to be able to help other others? And so now how can you look at bringing that experience to the world in your own unique way? And you and really learning then why? Then what is preventing you still that's left for getting there. So then looking at your roadblocks look at your roadblocks. And we do this process called 100 word exercise where you write down all the good, the bad, and the ugly, that's left. And it's okay, well, if my vision is this, or at least I know, in this next year, I want to head in this direction. And I want to start doing this and I've always wanted to write this book and start my podcast or, you know, do that you got to set goals for yourself. And then you got to be honest with what's left standing in the way. And then what you do is you turn those kind of negatives of those road blood, those roadblocks into what we call power projects, where you actually shift them and you alchemize them into how tos. This is actually when we get very practical. So now we've been in the ethereal world for so long healing all this invisible stuff in our minds and our bodies and whatnot. Well now we need to get real the final stages of actually healing are not sitting there and clearing things from the past. It's taking action, that in order to get the self worth that you want, you got to execute right in order to create the vision you want. You've got to show up and create so the actual action of of momentum of creating of doing is the final stages of that hero's loop and we go on many of those hero's journeys right so I hope that that helps. But those processes really create something tangible. They create a roadmap, they say, oh, okay, here I am, this is what I stand for him about. And now here's where I want to go. Boom.
Julia Malcolmson 1:20:14
Yeah. And I think that's I think the Action Point is one of the most powerful at the moment, a lot of us are doing this healing work. And we talk about manifestation stuff, but we never actually have goals set. And we don't actively work on that. So an action plan is
The Poet Yasin 1:20:28
that that's part of the morning ritual, showing up for yourself and then actually having that so when when we complete the whole circle, we take the vision that you've created in your purpose, and we create, you integrate that into your morning practice so that you're seeing it and that you're feeling it. And you're actually working now, because you're communicating with your spirit guides and the support around you to help manifest something that's so clear, you're using the full power that you have, you know,
Martin O'Toole 1:20:56
I think, interesting point you made there as well as to do with writing, I often find when I've had an experience, and an experience that gave me some sort of download some information I'm doing some kind of practice might be plant medicine, might be meditation, might be yoga, might be Qigong, whatever it is, you get that download, at that point, the veil is thinner for you, right. And that's where you're able to get this information. But of course, as we then step away from the practice, and then step back into the real world, and I'm doing like commerce in inverted commas into the real world, of course, we we move away from that thin veil, and then we get back to that the conditioned existence. So actually writing any of this down at writing any of your learnings, any lessons down, turns that into almost like a spell write words our spell? Absolutely, and, and if we can write it down, and we've, we've, we've captured it, and it's something that we can continue to read back to ourselves. You do that a lot, yours I know, you write a lot of affirmations.
Julia Malcolmson 1:22:06
Yeah, I think writing especially when you're using your hand, it's a very, very good tool to really integrate those into your being because you can think it, but you need to either speak the words or write them down. Yeah, so I often I record on my phone. So if I have any thoughts or affirmations I want to work with, I always record them on my phone, and listen back to them whenever I want. And then currently, in my morning practice, I have a lot of my kind of affirmations on my altar. So I get to read them out loud when I finished my practices and,
Martin O'Toole 1:22:39
and thinking back, actually, it didn't really occur to me at the time. But I started to write all of these stories down. I actually started to write a book, but it meandered into a tale of self suffering. And, and also, also, yeah, well, it was called, it was called Spilt Milk and to burn bridges. And laying claim to that title for all you listeners. So don't be thinking, well, he didn't publish, so we'll steal that title. But I realised, actually, you know what, the story is only getting interesting. So it's just getting interesting. So I'm going to stop writing that. But actually, in writing all of those, those tails, and I wrote about the time the dog stopped me from killing myself, I wrote about how a couple years later in Bali, I smuggled her from London to Bali, she went missing, she died, I got a message from an animal whisperer, the most beautiful message from this dog, which is in another podcast. And all of these experiences all these incredible experiences I had I wrote them all down. And then I started to publish them on elephant journal, which is a mindfulness Yogi website, American base, they got like millions of readers. And actually, that was a that was that did play a part in my healing process, writing it down. And but not just writing the suffering bit down, writing down some utilities, and this is what I did. And this is how I took myself out of out of that mindset. So yeah, man. Well, I think you you answered both questions with a phenomenal amount of detail. So thank you. Well done.
The Poet Yasin 1:24:20
Thank you know
Martin O'Toole 1:24:22
how long have we had you for we've had you for an hour and 17 shall we? Should we pile into a thought from Ketut before we let you go?
Julia Malcolmson 1:24:28
Yeah,
Martin O'Toole 1:24:28
well, we before we let you go, what did we ask ketut what
Julia Malcolmson 1:24:35
we asked him what would you say to someone who always asks why is this happening to me?
Mangku Ketut 1:24:47
Thoughts from Ketut many wise people say be someone give you some lime make lemonade. If someone gave me the orange make orange juice, but mainly just theory. But sometime in the life when something happened like that the way you want it, you complain it why this why that? Again, sometime you believe in sometime that it's not the way it is, you know, life is mystery. And then sometime when this coming to Uganda, you have to be wise. But to organise this energy, it's like you making a juice, you pick some apple is pick some broccoli, some Kyle, and you put in a blender and make some green juice and become healthy. And then there's how you also fishing live? Why did this happen for me? Think that first. And then maybe that sauce? That's nature. You call it God sending this ingredient to you to make it something helpful for the people. And then you can be mastering that. Why you not take that opportunity to take that test to take that lesson. And then one day you can help this as a tool to help people to understanding what life is.
Martin O'Toole 1:26:26
Well, I love Ketut's turn of phrase what did you What did you think to that advice, then? What else is there to say?
The Poet Yasin 1:26:36
I love Ketut he's such a beautiful spirit. I've met him and done some ceremonies out here with him. And he is a beautiful, pure, pure being. And we were talking about this right? Taking what happens to you and really alkalizing it into something that's beneficial squeezed juice out of it, right,
Martin O'Toole 1:26:56
Alka maizing. What a wonderful word. Yeah. Cuz often uses the metaphor, food and drink related metaphors I've noticed which is, which is awesome. But yeah, just that subtle shift, isn't it in perspective, instead of what why is this happening to me? What is this teaching me exactly? Essentially, that's that shift, I think alone, alone can transform your life forever. Big time. And it's, it's that's something that I adopted only a couple of years ago, I was a I was that that tale of woe. And of course, as we discussed, with hindsight, it was all co created. All of it was co created. Everything that happens to us in domain is CO created. And of course, even if we didn't co create the event, we create the emotion, the emotional response to the event. And actually having that conscious awareness again, just to be able to go well hang on a minute, before I before I'm triggered by this. Let's just observe this. And I know it. I suppose these days, there'll be people who say, Well, that's a fucking cliche when you say, what's it? What is this teaching me? You know what? It might be a cliche, but it also works. It really does work.
The Poet Yasin 1:28:10
It's also a spiritual truth, if you choose it to be.
Martin O'Toole 1:28:16
Mmm.
Julia Malcolmson 1:28:16
And if we if we choose to see everything that comes to us as a gift. Yeah. And as soon as you have that perspective, that that's a year, and then you can optimise it, and then continue with the flow and then more and more keeps coming to you.
The Poet Yasin 1:28:28
Exactly.
Martin O'Toole 1:28:29
Well, that's that's the, the the magical thing that happens, isn't it? That's where you start to bend the matrix a little bit. Because actually, the more you surrender to the flow, the more the universe seems to conspire for you. And actually, these lessons become less painful. Now perhaps is because you've learnt it, there go you you don't need that lesson again. Or perhaps it's because you've developed the utilities inside to, to not feel the pain and As the Buddha said, pain is offering. As the Buddha said, pain is optional. Now he didn't as the I'm gonna edit this video said, pain.
The Poet Yasin 1:29:14
Don't get it. Come on, buddy.
Martin O'Toole 1:29:17
I've got this. I've got this in me somewhere. Wait, I'm gonna reach in. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. There you go. Well, we got there. Who are we talking to the other week? He just could not. He had a prose and he just couldn't quite get it. I can't remember it was anyway, I'm that guy as well. But it is Pain is pain is inevitable. It's a part of life. Welcome to samsara. Should we choose not to suffer? Then we can, of course, edit our suffering, per se 100 100% was his trousers, Alexander. I could officially do this all afternoon. This is beautiful. This has been very cathartic and meditative, and I
The Poet Yasin 1:30:00
Yeah, inspiring and relaxing. And so thank you so much.
Martin O'Toole 1:30:03
Thank you. I think next time we have you on if you come back, we'll we'll ensure that we've got someone delivering some coconuts.
The Poet Yasin 1:30:13
We're sort of on bare minimum ration zero.
Martin O'Toole 1:30:15
This is great. But yeah, for the soul.
1:30:18
Yeah. And I think this, there's something. The reason why we chose this location actually was because we could have the ocean just given us its own healing energy. And I think there's something about being in this proximity to the ocean as we're having these conversations. Thank you so much, brother. You've been I've been a nominal guests. Nothing major.
The Poet Yasin 1:30:38
Thank you.
Julia Malcolmson 1:30:38
Thank you. It's been wonderful to talk to you.
The Poet Yasin 1:30:40
Thank you so much. Thank you for listening, everybody. Appreciate you all.
Martin O'Toole 1:30:43
Yeah, big time. And I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, so actually, before we go, there is a link to to Alexander's website, on the website on our website. So how to die happy podcast.com forward slash on dash, the dash show, and then you'll find this handsome chap. There's a photograph of him actually, on the beach, you're topless on our website. So you'll see his his fine tattoos, click, click on that particular image and get yourself over to see what's going on with the life force healng centre.
The Poet Yasin 1:31:17
Absolutely. Like I said, if you guys want to get the morning ritual that we've been talking about this whole time that that's a gift to you guys love to have you start using that and implementing that and that's just at the Lightforce centre.com/meditation So that's all there for you. And if you want to check out what we're doing for you and my wife, my my, my queen, she's the other half of this. And, and so important to the process. And you can find us on Instagram to Mendel UK, me n d l UK. And my dear wife che Yoon sh ayon underscore Sibyls thank you once more for the journey. Appreciate it. Y'all remember, the light is the way in the ways the light was not of the light is in the way
