SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, healing, hypnosis, feel, happiness, call, body, hypnotherapy, trauma, happening, hypnotherapist, anger, open, life, anxiety, acupuncture, healer, emotions, mind, person
SPEAKERS
Chris Siracuse, Mangku Ketut, Kartika Alexandra, Martin O'Toole
Martin O'Toole 00:00
Chris Siracuse 00:22
Yeah, of course.
Martin O'Toole 00:23
How much?
Chris Siracuse 00:25
How much do I want to die happy? Like a scale of one to 10
Martin O'Toole 00:28
scale of one to happy.
Chris Siracuse 00:31
estatic?
Martin O'Toole 00:35
Well, 12
Chris Siracuse 00:37
Yeah, I think so. In that movie Spinal Tap. Yeah. You know that mockumentary? I do. I never quite know when to come in and start talking with the music. Oh,
Martin O'Toole 00:50
you do? Fine.
Chris Siracuse 00:51
Cool. Thank you. But yeah, it's in my opinion,
Martin O'Toole 00:53
we could always invite some
Chris Siracuse 00:58
queries from listeners and constructive criticism. Yeah,
Martin O'Toole 01:01
if anybody's got a major issue with the way Chris is opening.
Chris Siracuse 01:06
Please let me know. If you have my whatsapp. You can WhatsApp me, even though I did. Before we get into our little interest. Where
Martin O'Toole 01:12
do you want to put your whatsapp on the internet? Definitely. Like an idea.
Chris Siracuse 01:17
I mean, it doesn't really matter. But it's on the on the on the internet. I give it to random people on Tinder doesn't really matter. But I actually So speaking of the criticism, then we'll jump into the the episode intro here. I did open up to criticism, constructive criticism from my friend. And she had a lot to say, Oh, really? Yeah. And I kept waiting for it to stop. I was like, Oh, good. Oh, that's really great. And she's like, and then this and then this. And I'm like, Oh, okay. So now I'm a little bit hesitant to open up to constructive criticism. This
Martin O'Toole 01:49
was constructive criticism about you or about the podcast. Oh, yeah. What did you have to say about the podcast? I
Chris Siracuse 01:56
don't know. I felt like it was so much that I had to like,
Martin O'Toole 01:59
like, I feel like I need to wait in here. Yeah, I
Chris Siracuse 02:01
know. Can we bring Martin in on this conversation? Like, is this gonna be a whole thing? But anyway, it's neither here nor there. If you have concise criticism, constructive criticism, Bring it. Bring it but like a lot of it all at once is once a lot of it all at once. So
Martin O'Toole 02:18
yeah. But ultimately, we're not just doing this for for the fun of it, and we were doing it. So people actually listened to it and enjoy it. Definitely follow it, share it, tell other people about it. So obviously, if he's not resonating, then
Chris Siracuse 02:35
we want to know, we do want to know what you have to say we respect everyone's truth. Indeed. So this is episode three tiga as they say, oh, is Bahasa
Martin O'Toole 02:47
three already, isn't it? Right? No, it's Episode Four .
Chris Siracuse 02:50
Okay, it's episode four. All right. Three, four, what are numbers anyway? Podcast vortex. Or Chris just doesn't have any idea what he's doing? Well, you may know either. You don't even know what Episode You're on. That's me talking to myself. So it's episode four,
Martin O'Toole 03:08
Episode Four with the wonderful Kartika Alexandra
Chris Siracuse 03:11
Kartika.
Martin O'Toole 03:13
And so we sat down with her a couple of days ago, didn't we? We did in person. That was our first in person podcast interview. Yeah. Which was really? Yeah, it's a it's a wonderful thing to do. To sit in the same room as people. Obviously, we can look each other in the eye. We can feel the the ebb and flow of the conversation a bit easier. And of course, we're not struggling with internet issues. Yeah. So yeah. How did you how did you did you enjoy them? The I did.
Chris Siracuse 03:42
Yeah. It was really nice to meet Kartika. She's a wonderful, she has a great vibe about her. Clearly, you know, she's a very trustworthy person. You can just feel that right away.
Martin O'Toole 03:53
Yeah, like she she says she's an expert.
Chris Siracuse 03:56
She's an expert, very professional. And I think I said this to her on the show, but I really appreciated the level of professionalism that she brought, because she is a hypnotherapist, and even my very open minded hippyish friends in Bali. I hear hypnotherapy, and some of them are like, Oh, hypnotherapy and they had this preconceived idea of what it was, you know, the whole stereotype that she describes
Martin O'Toole 04:20
the the TV stage hypnosis sort of vibe.
Chris Siracuse 04:24
Yeah. Which is not Kartika at all. Kartika's. I can I'd say she's a healer.
Martin O'Toole 04:30
Yeah, totally. Man. Actually. It's funny, isn't it? Because we wound up having that conversation. We were talking about healers for a long time in this in this interview. Yeah. And from my perspective, anyone who's doing anything in the service of others, is a healer. I don't think it's an exclusive term that you either you are entitled to because you went to medical school or because you did 15 years in the jungle as a shaman Mm Hmm you know my perspective on this there shouldn't be any one upmanship. Excuse me in this territory. Yeah, but yeah, she's she's a full on healer and i When did I meet Karthika? Probably about a year and a half ago I met Karthika. And she she played an instrumental part in in my healing journey. It was a beautiful thing to get her home.
Chris Siracuse 05:25
Yeah. And we explore a little bit of that in the show. Yeah. Which was really nice to watch. I don't say a lot in this episode. I know but it was. It's because so we were in Masha healing, which is the name of karatekas practice and caribou con, and you're Canggu and Bali. And it was this beautiful little space. We all sat around a table on the floor. Kartika really enjoyed it, too. I felt like she was very natural. She I mean, she's hypnotherapist so her voice is very soothing, which I think, yeah, you folks will appreciate this episode just for that. So we're sitting there and it was nice. Being there, watching this exchange between the two of you listen to the exchange between the two of you because there's clearly you know, a nice, I guess you would call it a patient healer relationship.
Martin O'Toole 06:15
Marginally broken and the fixer.
Chris Siracuse 06:17
Yeah. Emotionally broken. Yeah. So it was it was it was nice to witness that and yeah, what else do we talk about? What else should we give folks before we well, we talked
Martin O'Toole 06:27
about all sorts we talked about death. We talked about healing. We talked about not just dying, happy but also dying peaceful.
Chris Siracuse 06:41
Yeah, she made Kartika made that distinction, which I really liked. And what else did we talk about? Healing, death, happiness, peacefulness, science and spirituality. That's right. We started to address this, this idea that spirituality, in my mind is spirituality and religion, I guess you could say to a certain extent, they kind of it starts to light the path for science. metrology says this. The stuff is out there. We know it intuitively. We experience it cosmic Lee, and science is kind of catching up.
Martin O'Toole 07:11
Yeah. So no, it's not. No, it's not or Yes, it is. pseudo science. Right, right. Yeah. And then,
Chris Siracuse 07:17
oh, wait. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait. Yeah,
Martin O'Toole 07:21
we've just invented a new device that can actually see some of the things you're talking about. Yeah. And suddenly, your metaphysics isn't so much pseudoscience. Yeah, we talked about noetic science and the Institute of Noetic science. So it was an Yeah, it's a really, really great conversation. And so I apologise for not speaking. No,
Chris Siracuse 07:46
it's okay. No, no, I was just in it. I was really no, you were and that's what I mean. It was really that was it was nice to be in that space with you guys. And plus, I was running the mixer. You know, we had
Martin O'Toole 07:57
some ambient noises didn't we had some ambient noises on the scooters zipping by? We did so yeah, you did well.
Chris Siracuse 08:10
So gross. What What are you talking about? What you're not just
Martin O'Toole 08:16
talking about your mixer? Mixer, your English accent? Not getting any better. But it was it was getting better. And now it's not you need to practice at home on your own.
Chris Siracuse 08:26
I will practice more at home on my own. Well, one other thing we need to address. We really dropped the ball on on acknowledging your beautiful, wonderful partner and her Julia. Jules, I'm so sorry. Yeah, we Yeah. So we said that we were the only people working on this and the dogs and we acknowledged Ati and Muda. Acknowledged shows now full transparency. I'm just gonna go out and say it, Martin do it. We used Jules to call in, I know. I'm gonna say it. I'm sorry. I know. You have to. I have to. We have to be transparent about why. Okay, so we I wish I wish everybody could see your face, as I was saying that. It was like ruining
09:18
Chris Siracuse 09:23
I have to so this is our opportunity to say Jules, thank you. And to acknowledge that Ati and muda don't do shit. They just bite at us
Martin O'Toole 09:32
and bark while we're trying to record
Chris Siracuse 09:35
when actually Jules you're just wonderful. So thank you for being part of this too.
Martin O'Toole 09:39
So Julia is helping us out all over the place with marketing and production and Guest Relations and all sorts of stuff. So big up, big up. And, of course what I was what I was not wanting Chris to say was that Jules kindly recorded a Be my guest question for a couple of weeks back yeah so because you know we are having you know all of these little what should we call them growing pains
Chris Siracuse 10:09
yeah Growing Pains so
Martin O'Toole 10:12
it's not yet the smooth well cleaned and serviced vehicle that it will be in the next few months but we're getting there we are so thanks for bearing with us
Chris Siracuse 10:25
everybody bearing with us. Absolutely. So what do you think you want to you want to jump in or is there anything else you want to tell people about Kartika?
Martin O'Toole 10:32
No I I think without further ado, let's get on with our interview with the Wonder Woman No I actually I will say one more thing so you know Wonder Woman the movie I mean say this thing can't take you know the new movies she looks young her gotta ghetto is it I don't know
Chris Siracuse 10:51
her name but it looks this bit of a definitely does when you saw that I was like I haven't seen the movie but I've seen like posters and stuff and
Martin O'Toole 10:57
I was kid because I will I remembered it after we as we were leaving from the interview because I said you wonderful woman then suddenly what popped into my head, like a weird jingle like had the soundboard in my head. But anyway, it didn't seem appropriate to mention at the point the term visual it's like Wonder Woman she looks like Wonder Woman is a Wonder Woman. So without further ado, this is our discussion with Karthika.
Chris Siracuse 11:22
Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes and look around the eyes. Look into my eyes, you're under. If you see me in the street, you will give me a 10 pound note, a 10 pound note. If I hang on like that. 20 Actually, let's round it up. Let's call it 53 to one you're back in the room. Uh, no gift vouchers, please.
Kartika Alexandra 11:47
Good way to start it.
Martin O'Toole 11:48
Well, that's a credit to Matt Lucas, and the Little Britain British TV show, but I thought it'd be a wonderful way to start this podcast because what those guys have done a phenomenal job in is creating a caricature of Hypnotherapist. And of course, I suspect that's not what you do. No,
Kartika Alexandra 12:11
no, definitely not. So there are different types of hypnotherapy or actually hypnotist, that what you've just heard is something more along, you would see this on stage hypnotism and people who are not doing therapy with hypnosis. Here I am talking as a hypnotherapist where we're using hypnosis, to tap into different parts of ourselves to it's just a tool for healing, actually, essentially. Whereas you can still use any tool in any way shape or form. And yes, it can be anything from money or watch, even knowledge that we can read in a book and use that for negative and evil purposes of manipulation. Same with hypnosis. Unfortunately, though, the the history or the media has really love to show that evil use of it. I call it evil, more so because we're using it against someone else's will or maybe even the positive intention to support or heal another. That being said, it's definitely more entertaining to see that in Hollywood. Yeah, I haven't seen yet a movie where the use of hypnosis and like blockbuster movies has been one of a positive nature.
Martin O'Toole 13:19
Yeah, I suppose that would be a bit dull all very although I am as an aside halfway through a screenplay that does just that
Kartika Alexandra 13:28
I am very much already supporting this
Martin O'Toole 13:30
character is based on you come back to that. I am Oh, yeah. True, true story. So when people come to see you then are the typical issues that people visit you with.
Kartika Alexandra 13:47
You know, I cannot say there's the most common one is I have anxiety. But that is because they are not aware of the other issues are happening in their in their being in their mind and their physical distance, what they feel the most. Though I have gotten all kinds of topics. Most of the people come to see me or because they realise there's something going on that they cannot heal or what they say fix in another way. And so most of the time, I am the last resort, because of the perception of hypnotherapy, or because there's a calling in that sense that if stumbled upon me and so it's okay, I'm gonna have to try this. But you can name it. I have worked on it from anxiety, nightmares that kick in and the person finds themselves running through snow. They have this every four years to having the urge, unfortunately to rape other people to beat their children, no itching. I cannot understand why but I have a nose itching at between four and 6am in the morning. There is no medical reason for infertility. Almost all topics
Martin O'Toole 14:56
lost me
Kartika Alexandra 14:59
that's how it goes.
Martin O'Toole 15:00
Oh, yeah.
Kartika Alexandra 15:02
Yeah, you're still there. You mean, you're still there? I'm stuck. So I do say that all kinds of topics are addressed in hypnotherapy.
Martin O'Toole 15:09
So as a matter of interest, when people come to see you, for example, believing they have anxiety, right? Well, they do have anxiety. How often does a can of worms get some time? Right? So every single times buyers that obviously they think you're gonna fix this, this little thing? switches with right, thank you very much County, I'm gone, but I'm definitely new. This is same
Kartika Alexandra 15:35
with smoking, just want to stop smoking. The way I approach these topics is to look at why do you have anxiety? Why are you smoking, if you look at the human being as a, in the balance state, there, these things do not exist actually, in the ultimate state, most balanced state of the human being, so tendencies to smoke or to have compulsions, like nail biting, or even, you know, anxiety, smaller, big, these are all going to have a deeper root that most people are not aware are connected to their anxiety. So because we don't get taught this as a young child, or even an adult life unless we go out and seek the knowledge, we don't realise how everything within us is connected. Unfortunately, for some people, they don't like to hear this to our past. We are not blank slates, per se, even at birth, we are already being imprinted, we have what is already shown in science as implicit memories, we can see this in science with cortisol levels being higher. If the mother, for example, in this case, was pregnant during 911, her cortisol levels were much higher and that baby was born. After everything had settled, everything was fine, with a baseline that was already still higher cortisol level than everyone else, even if they're controlling for SES factors. socio economic factors. Yeah, and so the implicit memory is already there. And so that child will grow with a higher level of cortisol in their bloodstream. And that is also related to the way we perceive reality, our feelings, if there's threat, you're more hyper vigilant, you have more sweaty palms, this is quite common. So already from birth, we already get, you know, implicit memories and muscle trauma in the womb, then correct, prenatal. And then we have birth trauma as in, you know, imprints from childhood. But that's right. So when they come in for anxiety, it's by going into where it comes from, do they realise why they have an anxiety? Yes, we can just say, okay, you don't have any anxiety anymore. That is a type of hypnosis hypnotherapy or hypnotist, clinical hypnosis will do. However, the body will still look to release this energy that has been caused by something in the past that creates, let's say, excess fire in the mind in another way. So someone comes down to stop smoking, you know, just make me forget to smoke can do that. But they will likely develop overeating over gambling, maybe even overworking addiction to porn, over anything, actually. Because that fire has to be diffused from the mind and the body. Yeah, addiction is how we release it. You're not
Martin O'Toole 18:05
tackling it, you're tackling the symptom, not the direct, not the source. Yeah.
Kartika Alexandra 18:10
Correct. That's right. So we want to go to the source. And when we get to the source in the hypnosis session, the client has a bigger understanding of itself. And that is, that is what's transformative, then they realise I am not who I think I was, I am this, this this as well. And we open the mind like that and expand the mind and integrated properly. That person can go into a more present mindful, calmer life, actually, yeah. And that's definitely more interesting to the whole being, as opposed to just repressing anxiety, and then they are smoking and they go home and take out their aggression or anger that they haven't been able to release in appropriate ways to their children or their wife or their whoever, because it has to come out.
Martin O'Toole 18:51
So in your experience, is there a standard period of time for you to be able to do your work? Can it be done in one session?
Kartika Alexandra 19:00
Most Topics, you can see a significant reduction in one session, however, totally dependent dependent on how were you on the spectrum of anxiety person comes in for I stopped smoking to say I want to stop smoking and the only smoke on Friday nights and social settings. That's considered easy for me. phobia of kittens. Easy one session. We get those or deep sea diving, you know, or something like that
Chris Siracuse 19:26
surface and deep sea dive. deep sea diving really do have like the whole spectrum of people? Yeah. Yeah. The
Kartika Alexandra 19:33
Surfer came in, he was about 50. He was quite well known actually in Bali in Australia, but I don't surf. So I didn't know this. But he would go surfing. And his sons were in the water with him. And he was quite respected enough that everybody always gave him the wave, you know, you have the rules like this. So the surf would come or sorry, the way would come in a lineup and he'd find himself not being able to push up off the board, but of course, he's recognised he's been surfing since 15. And so the way would come and he lined up, he's ready. And as he push up the board his mind, basically, imagine you've pushed up but his body was still flat on the board, there was no connection between the instruction and his brain, or thoughts more appropriately in his mind, to the body. And so of course, he got out of the water in the sunset Dad, what happened, that's the third time he did that. And it progressively got worse. So this kind of topic. And then he came in, of course, the root cause was coming from a time when he was 15, or 16, with his friends, or as he said, his mate, and they were surfing. And he was taken down by a word wave, and he was learning how to surf. And he was flat on the bottom of the ocean. And, you know, if you've been in that state, you can hear the water, you're getting dragged across everything. And this adrenaline and everything was trapped in his body when he came back up, because he didn't think he was going to die. He got back on the board. And his May said, are you okay? He's like, Yeah, I'm good, you know, being 1516. But the body never forgot that. So compounded stress and of life and everything, it has to release it. And this is a natural part of our experience of life. So going back to that, clearing it, it had gone down from happening four out of five times, to one out of five times. And that's fantastic, right? Because that's his connection to life. For him, it was surfing. In fact, he got up from the chair, which is very rare people do, and stood up crying and, and said, I can feel the ocean. I can feel life. I actually remember this because I cried too. There was an energy. Yeah, because he felt connected to the wave again. Yeah. And that from you know, so if you understand what happens, he actually went home. And this is where most clients, they understand their sons experience differently. And they will treat their son differently, or daughter, in his case, his son. And there's, this is where wisdom comes in. Yeah, this change,
Martin O'Toole 21:56
because the work you're doing for people helps them break the cycle.
Kartika Alexandra 22:00
Right. That's still, I hope. Yeah,
Martin O'Toole 22:03
I think certainly my experience, which is not unique by a country mile, my mother was an alcoholic, but my grandmother was an alcoholic, who knows if the great grandmother and so on and so forth are alcoholics. But we pick this up, don't we, we the trauma that we have is more often than not just inherited, passed on. It's either epigenetics, nature or nurture, isn't it? So I've been I was talking to somebody about this the other day, this wonderful energy that's rising around us at the moment where so many people and perhaps it's just because we're doing the show, so all we talk about now is healing. But it seems to me there are so many people super aware now of what of what they need to do, or at least that they need to do something to break the cycle. And everyone's so keen to do it. Which I think is a wonderful thing. Do you get a lot of people coming to see you on the awareness journey? Way down their wellness journey? In fact, I'm gonna answer the I know the answer to this, because I was one of those people actually, but who feel like they've done most of the work. And then you sort of unlock something and they go, Oh, shit.
Kartika Alexandra 23:24
Yeah. You know, it's the condition of our mind that we think we know ourselves. And we know what's going on. Subconsciously, unconsciously, we're not capable of understanding what's going on there with our conscious mind. It's meant to be two different entities within us. entities being the conscious mind subconscious mind. So we really are not meant to know everything, otherwise, we could not operate right now. Just the maybe let's just say the light being a little too bright. Let's say if that was an issue, my body would feel uncomfortable, and I could not focus my will my intention and my conscious mind to deliver these words. So we're meant to stay separate. So if I can say quite confidently, nine out of 10, because 10 out of 10 will be too confident. Everyone comes in and says, Yeah, I've dealt with that. And that's not an issue. Yeah, I'm done with my mom. That over that X. Yeah. Yeah. And that's not the issue. Yeah. And I know where the issue is, and nine out of 10, we will go somewhere, and they will finish the session, saying, Whoa, I had no idea I was still carrying that. Nine out of 10. And that's normal. Because that's how our mind works. We're meant to be able to cope and live life at least survive,
Martin O'Toole 24:32
for sure. And I Oh, it's a good time for me to probably just fill in my story then in terms of who I am and how I met Karthika. So I came to see you a year and a half ago, two years ago, something like that. And I was Hi, I'm writing a book. It's autobiographical. I've done the work. I'm all healed. So I actually want to do some regression therapy with you but I don't need to fix anything. I just need to remember something So I wonder if you could just take me back to age six to remember this thing, which incidentally, is made the screenplay that I'm writing. So cardi because yes, okay. Yes. Just like she said, heard this before. So I, you know, we went through the process, we got into the hypnosis, I'm sort of probably thinking, I'm healed. I'm healed. It's fine. This will take a minute it's all good. I'm making notes. Good. I asked. I asked for a recording of it. Could you give me a recording because obviously, I'm going to be hypnotic. hypnotise. So, anyway, so skipping the whole process to get to the nuts and bolts of it. You took me back to my six year old self. So I met Martin, age six. And I was in this house, the house that we lived in, which was haunted. And of course, that was what I wanted to know. I want to know what this thing was haunting us. We didn't even dress that did we actually transpired
Kartika Alexandra 26:00
did actually we kind of didn't remember it
Martin O'Toole 26:03
a different way. Yeah. So and then I hopped in, I ended up giving my six year old self is wonderfully loving, like hug and this like, and this kid, it was really hanging out for that, you know, because my mom bless her. She would just wasn't emotionally capable of doing so. And she was she was drunk. So So I it transpired that I'd never had any this intimacy that we seek when we're children. And that went on to to affect my adult life for a long time. And we went back and gave this kid a bit of a bit of a motivational speech, and then a huge cuddle. But then through this process, Karthika enabled me to then hop into the, the mind and the heart of the six year old me. And then that with that knowledge, you know, like with that, that knowledge of impermanence, I suppose the impermanence of the pain as well, but also that he was loved. And then, in a really weird little jump, I hopped into my mum, and she gave six year old me this huge cuddle. Chris is going, I'm not sure what to make of
Chris Siracuse 27:13
this. No, I'm into it. It was,
Martin O'Toole 27:16
it was it was profound. And of course, as you said, when we finished the session, I went, wow. And prior to that, I had this huge cathartic experience, you know, this, this love for the little me, but also the love for my mum who had died, of course, so. And I didn't realise when I came to see you that I thought I'd thought I dealt with the death of my mom with with cognitive therapy, and I hadn't at all and I was holding a lot of the word resentment, I think towards her. But anyway, between me and six year old me and mom, whenever this was 1981, we went back to man, and that was fascinating.
Kartika Alexandra 28:04
Yeah, that's really interesting. You bring in Cognitive Therapy, or CBT, maybe you did, because that's going to work with the conscious part of the mind. But emotions and feelings and programmes are not on the conscious part of the mind. They're in the subconscious unconscious. So we can do as much reading as we want as much CBT as you want, which I find very useful. By the way, I'm not I'm not saying it's for sure, but if we need to address things in a holistic way, or in a complete way, we have to combine both parts of the mind. And so likely, the CBT you or the cognitive approach you took had already really benefited you. But that last component which we cannot access, unless we go into something like Alpha Theta brainwave, which hypnosis is helping us to do, we can touch into those feelings. So adult Martin is operating fine, but the inner child Martin, which we still all have, we cannot differentiate me we cannot separate them is still holding on those emotions naturally. So and of course, that's the part of us that we continue to relate to our partners with subconsciously unconsciously because the inner child is subconscious unconscious. And so this is why people talk about inner child work. Because if your inner child is more balanced, you will automatically development to more balanced adult, so we can change the adult as much as you want. Same story as goes when you meet somebody, you know, everyone has their best foot forward when you're dating them. And you have a wonderful time honeymoon phase is fantastic. But this is from the many people who do this kind of work, you're not going into relationship with only the adult version. Because after the honeymoon period phase is over you meet the subconscious unconscious which is all the other part of them that has been nicely tucked away by time correct. And as you are actually going into relationship with two people, the conscious part who wishes to go a certain way and the subconscious unconscious, unresolved elements which are met had to be resolved in some way shape or form in the relationship, hopefully in a healthy way. That being said, I didn't mean to say we did resolve the haunting that you came to, I didn't mean to say like that. But in the six year old, if it depends on how much you want me to share, y'all know, by all means, shared a lot, we went in. And I remember he said, I'd like to record the session, I said, we don't we do recordings. Because when we release this kind of emotions and energy from ourselves to our parents, whoever it is that we're in the hypnosis session with, we listening to this too soon after, your brain is still rewiring. And so we need some time to set in so that the new version from the inner child has a six year old Martin, which energetically speaking, subconsciously and consciously happens so fast. Within one night sleep, you're going to develop however, the body needs more time to move out. These are we can call frequencies or energies of resentment, bitterness, the heart. Now between that age of Martin, maybe how old were you when you came two years ago? How old am I
Chris Siracuse 31:07
so old, I can't remember my turning 46 In November, so
Kartika Alexandra 31:11
24. Between the six year old and 44 year old Martin, there has to be cleaning in your river of memory. So that six year old is feeling more loved and loving, forgiving his mom. So there's many memories that you have lived subconsciously unconsciously still in your mind, as a 789 1011, the woman you have been with the business partners, you've chosen to have all been linked to this resentment that wasn't resolved. And that has to be cleaned. So it takes about seven to 10 days. And then you go out and experience life. And by then Martin, for the 44 year old doesn't even remember the session. But he's different version. So listening to it too soon, was that reason. But going to your story, it was quite interesting, because when we landed in there, you were actually in a sterile way down. And you were looking at a window over which or there was a ghost in there a woman and then you walked down. And you also mentioned in the room, one of the rooms you had you and your brother wouldn't even be able to have your back to the door because it was a very cold air. And also someone was walking into something in Yeah, and you both felt it and you're in quite a bit of fear. So in trauma healing, perception, this is going to be looking at hyper arousal, where you are hyper arousal, but you're dysregulated you're not feeling safe, and anyone under any one should just feel safe. But if we're not, we will especially have many of these experiences in early childhood special underneath the age of seven, since our brainwaves are still operating from everything in theta and delta frequencies, which are highly hypnotizable states, alpha, which were all in automatically only developed at seven years old and onwards. And in alpha, you're 200 times more suggestible already. So can you imagine as a baby to seven years old how suggestible you are. Couple that with emotions, I mean, you really get strong imprints, so six year old Martins feeling afraid there's someone walking in the hallway, all understandable, somehow having had that conversation, not somehow it's quite normal, when we understand into dynamic relationships with our parents. Having healed that relationship with your mother, having gone into her body, which is really different. If you do Gestalt in hypnosis, you're going into it from a different access. Whereas we do this in psychotherapy, you sit in one chair, consciously moved to the other chair, and you imagine you're in your mom's body. But if you do this in hypnosis, we call this transpersonal hypnosis where we are all connected. Do I mentioned this ever to anyone before they come? Never? No, no, it wasn't on the brochure? Nope, nope, nope. Read, I mentioned that. But if this was going to help the client, understand why they are who they are, we do it, you know. So that's why it's called integrative hypnotherapy. Because if that's going to be useful, we do that. But if the person doesn't need that, let's not do that, you know? So we did that. And after that, you were back in the room, you went up the stairs, you're like this ghost. I don't even know if it's there. I'm gonna go up and play. Yeah, that's when you close the door. And you said, I don't mind if the door is behind me and you were there with your brother. And you took care of him in a more present, more connecting way I'd forgotten about that. Don't worry, I shall remember for
Martin O'Toole 34:27
you. That's the beauty of hypnosis.
Kartika Alexandra 34:29
And that was only after we did emotional release and site type of forgiveness and Gestalt. So you might have expanded and you felt loved. This is unsafe, of course, with your mother that had large P like ghost bring it? Yeah, I'm playing. And so you had about your back and that's when I know we did. Excellent. You did excellent work. We can close this session. There is structure to this.
Martin O'Toole 34:57
Yeah, you made it out. I suppose obviously, as the person in chair, we do our bit and we obviously it's a huge emotional experience. But then you're doing all this, this clever stuff in the background. Sorry, what you're gonna say then. But
Chris Siracuse 35:11
well, I was just going to talk what we're talking about what we wanted to talk about, which was this connection between the scientific and the spiritual. Seems like you, you're, I appreciate how you're describing this because for people that may be a little bit sceptical. You know, like we talked about at the beginning, you know, there's this kind of stereotype of what hypnotherapy is. But the way that you're describing it sounds so clinical, in a good way, in a good way. And so structured like you said, in a way where I think people that may be reluctant, would feel safe with you and feel like, Oh, she knows what she's doing. There's, there's a process to this. So we have some questions kind of queued up for Kartika, like general we did, because we want to discuss, like Noetic Sciences, and
Martin O'Toole 35:57
we'll come on to that, but we have to quit. So as you know, we have the BMO guests section. My friend, let's talk about he's gonna be my guests. Yeah, it's good. There is a full version of that there is a fourth version, we need to share it at some point. Okay,
Chris Siracuse 36:29
so what do we have? So these are, these are questions from the audience for you Kartika. So
Martin O'Toole 36:33
we have Steven from Mexico,
Stephen 36:36
I could take this a Steven, and this is my question regarding regression. Can one go back into your life from a teenager, maybe infant where you've had emotional or physical trauma and unravel those threads? So that your present and future can benefit from that?
Kartika Alexandra 37:08
100%? Yes, that is absolutely, I'll expand a little bit on that, because it's important to share the following is that within your own memory, we have different types of memory, we have narrative memory, and implicit memories, implicit our feeling base and narrative are associated with words and you label like you know, riding a bike. And so when we're underneath the age of six for these kinds of we don't really under four, let's say, especially in baby and prenatal, we don't have words at that time. However, we can use the adult version of you today to connect as you remember, Martin, and you find these words, describe these experiences. And so I Yes, you can absolutely, because that baby in you, the one even in the womb is still inside of you, you are containing all of them inside of you. So by by going into a state of hypnosis of a Fetta, you can tap into those places and spaces. The only component to be aware of is that if you have had a tendency to not be able to recall your childhood experiences. So we can say some people come in and say, I have a lot of things I have to, you know, go to play, I can't remember anything I need to age age of 12. Generally speaking, let's say they've had no major accidents in the brain and everything, I will see this as their brain has had to fit or at least I don't say but I say mind, but their mind has had to fragment is a large amount of their part of consciousness, store it away, correct. And so to do it, let's say you go to get to your prenatal your birthing, we have to do this slowly, because that will open up memories and pockets of memories that have to be properly integrated before it can go deeper and deeper and deeper. So yes, you can do it, just how you do it. And doing it properly are really important components. Otherwise, you will run the system, the physical body's central nervous system. And when you do that, you do not feel good, first of all, and second of all, you will avoid and have a resistance to go deeper after that. So we might we have to do that carefully. But most people, I would say like 90 90% Yeah, you can go straight there. Work with the younger version of you. And working with that version of you making that version of you happier, healthier, more in harmony will automatically radiate out to the adult version and onwards automatically. Yeah. This is why we don't need years and years and years of therapy. If we work with both parts of the mind, and I definitely don't say this because I'm pushing hypnotherapy, I actually stumbled upon this. Never did I want to be Hypnotherapist. Not at all. I mean, really I did the course just to understand myself and here we are eight years later for practice, you know and I really didn't. I was too left brain to accept this kind of thing in mind you, of course, my father's very left brain banker with a World Bank. And at that time, he was very open to buy your daughter in the hypnotherapist, you know. So it was not something I was. But when I was very excited, let's say I was pursuing, when I saw how quickly people shifted in my hypnotherapy course, and the first few practice clients, I didn't say, Well, why, why take years of medication or years of therapy to reduce anxiety when I saw it myself, within myself, the students and the clients we worked with, they only needed one, two sessions. And they could go out and operate with a sense of harmony within themselves and have a better quality of life. So then I dedicated to that, and that was because in hypnosis, it happened so quickly. So if you help the past version of you, you help today version, and that automatically means you will interact with the rest of life with that version as well. So, future versions changed.
Martin O'Toole 41:06
And I can attest to that, of course, because I suppose I sensed in Stephens questioning whether or not he is even crossed his mind that it is possible to do this, then I guess, regression therapy to a lot of people isn't possible or it's a fantasy, or it's a bit woowoo. Yeah. I'm not woowoo. And I can tell you, it works. Okay, one more question for you. This is from Allah in Poland. Hi, Kartika.
Stephen 41:34
I feel stuck in my life. Like I'm doing the same things over and over again. And I see myself being triggered by the same things. How can hypnotherapy help with these feelings?
Kartika Alexandra 41:51
This is definitely the kinds of things people come in. This is happening. Why is this happening? For example, small common one is I know I need to eat well, but I cannot help it. I keep on going for the chocolate or I keep on going for this. But I don't know why. But I keep on choosing an abusive partner. I know I shouldn't. And then for some reason, I'm attracted to that partner. And then here we are two years later, same story. In the most direct, simple way, I can say you have a programme that is running your subconscious unconscious, that is directing your conscious mind, this will happen if you have a lot of emotions trapped in that part of your mind in that memory that's charging up that programme, we have the capacity to have every kind of programme but if there's emotions, it's like a type of energy stuck in there, that will be the strongest forest. Now if we were really, really healthy beings, that's fine. Our conscious mind has the capacity to use its full willpower. But when we get tired, Ill hungry. Anyone of this, which by the way is most of us in the modern age, in day and age, our subconscious will kick in. And this is meant to help us survive. Now, I would imagine. And I cannot go into more detail because I have to hear more of the exact detail experiences you're having. But I would imagine that you have a programme that is fantastically trying to show you what needs to be addressed via the triggers you're having, use a trigger, bring that to a integrative or holistic or transpersonal hypnotherapist and ask them just to give them the triggers. Maybe it's every time my boyfriend walks out of the door I get It's sensational amount of jealousy. I know he's not gonna do anything, but I'm really jealous. If that's the trigger that he walks up fine. If it's my someone doesn't write back to my SMS or my whatsapp or something. Within two hours, I feel like I did something wrong actually trigger. Bring that because just with a trigger, you can access deep parts of yourself find the root release the energy and reprogram.
Martin O'Toole 43:54
I think it's good that Allah is Aware that she's got triggered. Right. Start isn't it? Interesting. So what we've been talking about then, for the last 10 minutes or so is is it feels to me, and it felt to me at the time. Almost like time travel. Yeah. So how do I explain that better? I somebody said to me that there was this was before I met you that Eve you are able in a meditative state to take yourself back to a moment of trauma. But see that moment with love and with acceptance and also try to assume all perspectives. Then you are essentially healing a part of you. I thought that was a fascinating idea. Because when it came to see you that's exactly what happened. So is this into is this in the field of quantum healing?
Kartika Alexandra 44:57
Yes, it's falling into that but I don't even know if this necessarily even called Quantum healing is just the state of our mind. But quantum would be more appropriate since we cannot objectively really, we can objectively follow this is quite subjective and experience and is affected by the observer. But that being said, there are two, what you just said, If I can respectfully jump in on that, yeah, because you can go back to a moment of trauma and see with love. And if we do this, that we don't do true forgiveness, we are doing it with a coating of a conscious mine of love surrender, I forgive you. But underneath that, there are mounds of bitter anger, whatever other emotions that need to be released. So you can say I have forgiven this person, I've healed that, that in everyday language, you've just repressed it even deeper. So no, I'm done consciously, I'm good. I've repressed that. Yeah, I've forgiven my mother, how you cannot really do that. Unless you really go in and release the emotions that are still trapped there. That's where true forgiveness will come and true love will come. And that cannot be done. And so if we do that, just with a conscious mind of, I love, I forgive, I understand, it's not the same as embodying it. And that's why I think most people get that conflict in their body when they do too much spiritual work. And don't recognise the actual the science behind trauma healing. And that's where you hold it in your body. And that being held in the body, if true, spirituality is a combination of them both. So you can do all the practices you want and everything. But if you're still dysregulated, you can say Namaste as many times as you want. But that anger in the central nervous system will kick in when the server brings you the wrong meal. That one day, you're really hungry, and you will snap. So this is, you know, you got to combine the mind and the spirit and the body in the body contains those emotions.
Martin O'Toole 46:48
Yeah, well, that's you make a great point. Next is spiritual bypassing correctly referred to the cognitive
Kartika Alexandra 46:53
bypassing is a very common one, too. I know the theory. I know that intellectualising everything.
Chris Siracuse 46:59
So I fixed it. Yeah. This has reminded me so much of our conversation with Liam Marquardt, where he says, What was the quote, he said, he said, The Body Keeps the Score, right. And the mind hides the score. Yeah. Yeah. Just reminded me of kind of,
Kartika Alexandra 47:14
so our mind we can lie. How are you feeling today? I'm fine. But the body cannot lie. That's why it is lying detector test, you will sweat ever so slightly more, your eyes will constrict. Your body just simply cannot lie. And so clients in the chair will say I'm not angry anymore. But their shoulders will be tense. The jaw will be clenched, as what are you really feeling? I'm angry. Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. And but that's how strong the relationship to the blog to their own emotion of anger. Having repressed this is quite common in South Asian cultures. I grew up like this. Anger is not good. collectivistic Lee Oh, no, we don't do that. We don't want to cause problems. So in my healing journey, I had to go back into the anger. I'm happy to share the story. But when I was I think I was 17 bike riding in Kyoto with one of my friends. He says, you know, you're quite angry. And I yield back. I want you to back away from the speaker. fucking angry. What do you say? He's like, That's angry. I'm like, No, I'm not. Yeah. But that's because my block to anger was already from the collectivistic approach and nice girls don't get angry. But physiologically, anger is part of us. You can see this in psycho. In all the psychological studies angers quite you physiologically have an arousal, and there's something that's being threatened. And so once I had to break down the block first to anger, I could then feel anger. Yeah. And then suddenly, I had a way more different vitality to my life. So there was less shame about even having anger, which is a very normal part. It's acceptance,
Martin O'Toole 48:48
isn't it as well. I totally. Okay, I want to I want to do better. I want to feel better. I went through this whole the same thing. I'm gonna be Zen now. Yeah. I'm just gonna be Zen, everything's gonna be fine. You know, now, when I lose my shit, I'm just aware that I'm losing my shit. And that's the difference. I you know, I still can not always be I can always be sent, especially when you're trying to smash a podcast in in a week, you know, rushing around the way we are at the moment. But the difference is, you're just aware of it. But then you, you let up, you let that happen. And you provide Well, I provide a container for that. I breezed through it. I changed my posture. So I just do the things that I've learned to do to manage the anger but also to let it flow. I even found myself shaking, shaking it off to the left, just Yeah, because animals have been doing that forever, right. And there's a reason to get rid of that energy. So
Kartika Alexandra 49:48
we have my one of my teachers, Eastern teachers who is amazing at being able to help us tap into the different frequencies of our emotion. He always says, you know, this is normal to have anger, normal toggle, this is how you release the anger, the channelling of that that is going to create more karma, bad karma or good karma. But essentially, the energy of anger is one that will always damage our system, because of the frequency of it is, then W. So if we do it in the wrong way, like throw something at someone or insult someone, so there are ways to manage it, hopefully one day, which I don't know if it's possible in our modern day and age, running a business trying to be spiritual and, you know, looking healthy or something like that, that we get to manage our stress. automatically when we do that reduction of stress, or at least stress management, which would probably mean meditate every day, do yoga every day, do not drink coffee. Now God knows everything else. We will naturally be less irritable people.
Martin O'Toole 50:49
And that's true. That is true. I obviously I was a alcoholic drug addict, cocaine, drinking cigarette, smoking, womanising broken human. And then through changing the way I live and what I consume, not just what I eat and drink, but what I can say visually and audibly as well. It does all, too. Yeah. And we just don't We don't think about that. Do you? So often, we, we just neglect to consider the environment we're putting ourselves in, and the impact and effect it's having on our moods, right?
Kartika Alexandra 51:21
Right. Yeah, this I'm sure you've heard about this. But when you wake up feeling not so good the next morning or the lunchtime? It's not just from whatever happened, then it's what did you do yesterday? First of all, obviously, sleep matters. You know, people want to get better, what are you eating? Right? Sleeping, right. And these normal things, but then it's really a is you have to look at all of those things that lead you to that moment of not feeling right, if you don't even thought that the chances of us to be able to die happy is much, much further in terms of reaching it, the probability of it then if we and then on top of that, if you think about what you put into your mind, and how easiest to detect the stress levels going up, or at least the heartbeat and everything when you watch something like CNN everyday. It's just so powerful. Yeah,
Martin O'Toole 52:09
yeah, we have no idea. It's something we talked about before on the podcast, but I'm something I'm super keen to say anytime anyone will listen, and that is, healing is not there is no silver bullet to healing. It's not a quick fix. You have to, you have to get ready to do the work. And you have to consider all of these things. I've got a wonderful quote actually, which I'd like to share from phenomenal writer called Young Pueblo, he said true power is living the realisation that you are your own healer, hero and leader. Absolutely. And actually, that's from a book he wrote called inward, which I would recommend to anyone you read that, Chris, I haven't add that to your burgeoning pile of books to reach it's quite the. But there's no silver bullet. So we've got to, we've got to do the work. And I think I might have said this, I've said this recently to someone, but if it takes you, if it takes me 44 years, to get to a state to a situation where I am, where I realise, well, there's some work to do. There's some unlearning to do and there's some healing to do. It's unreasonable for me to expect that I'll undo those 44 years, in a week, or in a month. It could be five years, but it will have been the best five years you ever spent, in my opinion, so 100% So I think, I think that's, that's kind of a big deal. Something we're very keen to always talk about with everybody is, is, wherever you are on this journey, even if you're not on the journey, and you're one of these people that that comes to see you who has anxiety or has back pain, you know, I mean, obviously I'm not saying you necessarily treat but I do know people, people will come to you with a pain. And that will that's the thing of the day, right? Because they just think, you know, the chiropractor can't deal with the physiotherapist can't deal with it session where Karthika boom, unblocked, the energy. Turns out, it was a trauma. So wherever, wherever you are on that journey, I think it's about having just stopping and having the awareness and I guess, accepting the responsibility for some of the things you you're doing, seeing your triggers,
Kartika Alexandra 54:29
right. You know, it's quite popularised, right, this thing of healing, and you see it a lot on Instagram and influencers and all of that, but there's such a different part of healing that I don't think is addressed maybe enough, is that it's when you do true healing. It's of course so delicate, because the healing you're doing then if you even aware of what you're doing in hypnosis or not, but if you just do as kind of a holistic bodywork or some other kind of work, you become so much more aware and You have to be prepared to see truth as it is. That also means the things you did in the past that you did not realise were done out of the pain that you were in. And that's a whole other layer of healing, where we have to integrate that. And that includes shame, embarrassment, humiliation, and we can't realise that we acted that way do we did the best we could then. And so healing is not just that one session, we have to look at what the integration is. And that component of integration afterward. And the journey of healing is so pivotal, so pivotal, because then otherwise, we just heal, heal, heal, we don't integrate, we don't actually go to the next level of the threshold, we can be at the next step in evolution. Do you find people doing that healing, healing, healing healing, in the sense of acupuncture here, I'm going to do Campbell there, I'm going to do this, you know, acid shaman trip here, which is actually fine. I have nothing against all of this Ayahuasca there, when I'm going to now do acupuncture before I go to Central Karthika. So they come in such a fragmented state with the mind, there has been no integration. So we're not actually working with an integrated person who's done this healing, that's number one, that can be more negative, in terms of in their journey of the goal of healing. And second of all, is finding the right person to be able to do this work with I do think that because people on this journey of healing are naturally going to be in the state of a more submissive looking to someone else, perhaps if there's a therapist, or the shaman or whatever, they're handing over their power in all trauma. For example, if you look at strictly trauma lens, as a victim, you have had no power and you had to hand it over to the perpetrator abuser, even if it was your caregiver, or a doctor. And so we can naturally find ourselves reenacting the same process with the therapist, or the teacher or the shaman. And we get stuck in this loop. And the wrong teacher or not the wrong but not the most ideal person to be healing you, let's say, will really enjoy having that power. And this such a very sneaky, sneaky world, where it's a great way to feed off of people, actually. So there's that part of healing energy vampires, we have to be so careful. And so you know, you can see this in August business ways, which is not a problem if they want to make that's actually no problem to make money. But the way they use that pain, or they sell it the right way. There is not true healing, right. It's
Martin O'Toole 57:25
something we've we touched on with Liam because Liam Farquhar is a legal psychedelic guide. And he's joined a brand new guild called the guild of guides, which I thought was quite interesting because I read recently that in double blind magazine, I don't know if you know, double blind magazine, but it's a wonderful magazine. It's been going since the 60s or 70s. It's it's it's all about the exploration use of therapies around psychedelics. But they reported that the there will be new legal measures in place to criminally prosecute. Healers in inverted commas Charmin who are, I would, I mean, I'm not sure how they're going to police this, but who are causing really negative ramifications or effects to the people that they're treating? Because as we know, any of these kinds of therapies you are you're you're facilitating a deep dive into someone's psyche, the nothing else is yours. They are stripped bare, they are on their metaphorically on their backscene Okay, there's my soft underbelly, you're in charge, I trust you. And of course, you will know as well as I do. I've met a few of these people already, not just in Bali, but somebody has a wonderful healing experience. And it might might be with Kimbo it might be with plant medicine. And then there Charmin Yeah. And then they're administering plant medicine and they're holding ceremony for people. And, you know, I am not judging these people. But I'm, I'm also cautioning them. And I'm also cautioning anyone who wants to do any, any such therapy, even hypnotherapy to make sure you do your research on the person who's getting inside your psyche,
Kartika Alexandra 59:22
right? There are two things I would suggest if you want to go find someone who's going to you feel safe with and good with. If you want to look more clinically, you want to make sure that they're trauma informed. What that means is that they're aware that the therapeutic alliance is one of the most impactful and important ingredients. So you can have hypnosis, EMDR cognitive behaviour therapy, all of these are shown. Hypnosis was not part of that study. No matter which modality you took 87% positive outcome by taking that psychotherapy technique, and they're all done techniques by just being part of the process. So all these CBT, everyone says CBT is the best or EMDR, all of them had the same batting average for success. So do I agree with that what's going on then because supposedly this is all better, that's better turned out the therapeutic alliance, was what made the biggest difference. So therapists are the shaman or whatever that alliance was, was making that tool effective. Why? Because we're healing interpersonally, the trauma or the imprint or whatever happened, is done in relationship to something else. Now we're going to be healing in relationship with someone else. And that therapist is holding that power to be able to help that person heal. So the therapeutic alliance, therapeutic alliance is one of the major and main factors to healing. So they have to be aware of that. Number two, they have to be able to give back the power which then means they're not going to be dependent on the therapist, to be able to go live their life successfully. No, you cannot come over and call me every time there's a problem. Or no, you don't need to take this next combo level to level five, this you know, you can handle it. And so that's really key, the power gets given back. Number three, the therapist has to be able or who the shaman has to be able to be self regulating their own emotions, that's really key, you can find out how easy it is to find how dysregulated people are. If that person is saying they're a shaman, or a therapist, and they're highly dysregulated, choose another one. That sounds very mean. And I may get some by that's what I teach. And I really, really think that's the key one, if you're dysregulated, as a person, do not trust that person, they will be operating not because they consciously have bad intentions or anything. But you cannot operate with a high intention, and speak the right way and be the right way. If you're not regulated within yourself regulated means you're not hyper arousal, hyper aroused, you're in a balanced state internally, and you can respond and be calm, because that person going through whatever they're going through shaman, Lang, you know, maybe Ayahuasca, you are vulnerable. If that person is regulated, they can hold, we can say the container of the space, the emotions, that's really key, you know, that one, but there's a few more things, but those are key. That's why that quote you read from young Pueblo is really it you get to give back the power to the person that they can be their own hero, leader. And B, we know what to do. Actually, that's what I fundamentally believe. And this was not because of some I, everyone had said this, my teachers mentors, but when I really worked with clients, I don't have to tell them, what would you do differently now that you know what you know, and you released your emotions, they all knew what they wanted to do. And I didn't have to say go hug your mom or leave the room. They knew what to do. Yeah, and this part, we do have access to it. But we have to clear the maybe the heaviness out the cloud or the fog or whatever you want to call it. But in my world emotions, if we have trapped emotions that gets in the way, and we know what to do. So we know how to be your own hero. We know what we need already. But we can't read that if you don't get rid of that stuff.
Martin O'Toole 1:03:09
I think that's the fundamental point there for me is that, especially in western medicine, we've appeared to have been led to believe that we we don't have any abilities, or power. And we're being we've been encouraged to give away our sovereignty, our medical sovereignty. I don't mean any disrespect to any allopathic, medicine experts and doctors and therapists and so on and so forth. Because there's a place for all of this, as far as I'm concerned. From my perspective, holistic healing is the best form of healing. Because we all have a different access point for this and we all have a different thing modality that would work for us what works for me might not work for Chris. But it it does seem to me that there's there's there's a bizarre situation now where obviously we've used the word healers, but we're, we're talking about alternative healing practices here. Incidentally, they are ancient. Yeah, anyone listening, you know, these things aren't. I hear this expression, new age a lot. It's not new. It's 1000s of years old. And that actually what's happening now is what the certain governments and Wikipedia and certain so called centres of knowledge and mainstream media and medical boards, etc. They're referring to as pseudoscience. But at the same time, it's not pseudo science at all. And it is something that Chris said earlier on that made me think, how do you do you feel like we're on the cusp of this wonderful meeting? Yes, we in spirituality and science.
Kartika Alexandra 1:04:55
Yes. We see that of course with these leaders. as pioneers in using both sides, Dr. Gregg Braden, Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza, they are really doing that kind of work to bring it together. But you know, if I look at my Eastern teachers, who are just wealth of knowledge, and their knowledge comes from their mentors, and that knowledge comes from China from old way we call barley lawn data, which are the traditional text. And that can even trace to where that comes from, from China and onwards. There is information in there about how anger affects our body, there is information about the meridian body, there's all this information to them, it's normal. And then here comes science before saying acupuncture doesn't work. But now you can find so many studies showing the efficacy of sorry, how useful acupuncture is, in treating this, this, this or this, or this, not all but this, this, this this. And so they're like, Well, we already knew this. Same with hypnosis, right? Because of course, when I started eight years ago, I still wasn't. Did you think I was a bit? Probably using magic or something? Will you do this? Okay, so you're right. But this magic we're using is oh, we all have access to it. And so I took the stands to go very professional looking to make sure I was not associated too much with that. Because already the word hypnotherapy brings up all kinds of stuff.
Martin O'Toole 1:06:21
Yeah, we'll we'll deal with that people
Kartika Alexandra 1:06:24
usually will depend us. And of course, I would have a pendulum going left and right, which I don't, you know, hypnotherapist uses that actually just for the record. But or at least the ones that I've practising clinically. That being said, even that back at that time, there was no a lot of studies. Actually, I didn't find any, except for one, that was discussing hypnosis, but there was no brain scans, essentially, I could get access to now Stanford has a whole department on this showing how powerful hypnosis is, in pain management. Yeah, literally showing how parts of the brain that would usually light up when you're getting type of a pain stimuli will not even light up, even though it's the same amount. Everything is kept kept constant, only because of hypnosis. And so your show showing this, this is relating to make the land the part of the brain. And they're showing it now. So this is no more can be just said as woowoo. But the mainstream media doesn't get access to this. So I'm very happy to bring those studies with me. When I talk at different like, maybe, let's say like more left brain corporate settings, I say, Hey, you just haven't been aware that this has been happening here. Some studies show you this, this, this this, you know,
Martin O'Toole 1:07:39
and if anyone listening to the show wants to get access to any of this stuff, I'm sure you'd be happy to share it with us or do send us an email. If you'd have Dr. Edgar Mitchell. Of course, yeah. So he was, you know, he was on the Apollo 14 mission and had what some might refer to as a singularity event, where he just looked back at the planet from space and had a, I guess, some people will call it a spiritual experience as well. But he felt intrinsically connected to everything to universe. So he flew back, this is a physicist, he flew back and said, Okay, that's kind of messed with my concept of science in the universe. So he started the Institute of Noetic Sciences. And I've been looking into to what they're doing, I think, is absolutely fascinating that, and again, nobody knows this is happening, right? Because, as far as I know, this is not a criticism of people's understanding of what's happening in the world, or what's possible if you only have your source of information, your news channel, your, your search engine, your group of friends, and you only have a limited amount of time to get this right in to learn these things. So but I would absolutely recommend that people just open another door or two, because behind those doors, there are some amazing things happening that are now applying hard science to some of these things we're talking about. Right? Which is really exciting. Because it is that that bridging that gap isn't right
Kartika Alexandra 1:09:14
it is. This reminds me of a story from my father when I was in UBC because I was predominantly run by my flight central nervous system, which is a go doo doo doo perfectionistic due to the trauma I was experiencing in my childhood. This was positive because I got straight A's and scholarships. But it was driven by a completely stressful part of trauma can be in that sense once you heal it, because if I hadn't, it could have ended up very, very differently. Now that I understand the connection with chronic disease, which have total segue, I don't know if you know about this, but a studies was done in the states by the CDC, looking at what causes obesity and chronic disease. And out of this whole maze massive study, they have put together about 10 Questions Which we're the number one predictor of trauma. And so we people use this in trauma healing. And this ace studies, you can see from one to 10. If you have anything over four, you're suicidal. Sorry, Was it awkward? So here we go, I should pull it up now. But it's either suicide or alcohol goes up by 1,550%, your chance of obesity, everything was significantly above the stats, actually. Now in a few moments, while the next question comes in, but I'll read you the stats. And this is studied. Of course, there's problems with that study, because the study itself is only based on middle class college kind of students. Yeah. And in not politically correct terms of white people. And that was not very comprehensive. Of course, if you look at First Nations, or you know, maybe people in Mexico or Indonesia, it's going to be different. So this was already the it was mind blowing study, that actually trauma is really prevalent, really prevalent. And so if you have four of more, basically an SRE six or more, your chance of life expectancy goes down by 20 years, six or more ACEs. Now, I have a score of seven. This I had not put together until my sister passed away two years ago, she's 42 questions that come up, when you look at the knowledge you have, which has been nicely intellectualised here. And then you have an experiential moment like that, where you see your sister passing away of 40. And you have conversations on her deathbed. And people are so close to death, everything does change. You every word matters, and especially if you have cancer, because the any death, but the you have very little energy, you barely can eat, breathe. And so these words we had in exchanges, as asked me to challenge a lot of what I thought healing was. And of course, even though I knew it intellectually that childhood trauma causes had me actually face what is the effects of having seven or higher, or seven ACE scores? Because you're How can my sister we don't have cancer in our family? This, this forces you to expand your mind cross starts you in another dark night of the journey. So kind of soul journey. And yeah, and so this really is quite interesting to look at if you want to learn more about maybe what are the effects of my chronic diseases now? Yeah, you know, and so we have this kind of thing happening. And so if we have a separate party, which has spirituality, people can say, Oh, well, that cancer represents this, or that. That's not really that useful. Neither is only this, but by together, bringing it together, like noetic science is doing as well, you're actually able to fusion and create mean meaning. And ultimately, that is bridging the part of our spirituality, and using it for good, or enhance or expansion of the mind.
Martin O'Toole 1:12:52
I think the other thing it does is it gives the more rational, more cynical people out there reason to, to pause for a moment. I grew up in a in a Roman Catholic family. So Religion was everything to us as children, I was an altar boy, and just growing up, and I'm certainly not disrespecting Catholicism or any religion whatsoever. What I'm saying is when you grow up in a, in an environment where belief structures are solidified all around you, not just in your family, but in in the church and the community, and the people you hang around with you they become your belief structure. Yeah, simple as that. We trust, we trust the adults around us as children doing. So it takes, it takes something else to break our, our belief is our train of thought. And I think, well, it could be a trauma, it could be a death, there could be in my my case, it was an almost suicide and the death of my mom, you know, that's what that's what triggered my, my journey. But for, for other people, it could be all sorts of little things. For me. I think that the thing about what's happening now, and certainly something we're very keen to talk about on a regular basis here is, let's stop using the word spirituality. Yeah. You know, and actually, let's stop thinking of sciences as as what we think science is. Because all of these things, and I think people are going to discover in the end, they're all intrinsically connected. And that's so
Kartika Alexandra 1:14:35
the how or why you have to separate it all quiet. We are human beings who are bringing together and collapsing into ourselves all parts of this dimension where we will whatever we call third dimension, mind, body spirit. It's phenomenal. We should be exploring all of this
Martin O'Toole 1:14:50
and being open to it. And even if I always say to people, Look, I respect your truth. All I would love is if you respect my truth, so hear something out, but it doesn't resonate. Fair enough. But if it does resonate and what I mean by resonate, you put the ego away from Listen to your intuition. What's your intuition telling you about this thing? Is it? Is there? Is this something that mentioning? Okay, there might be a truth and totally. So yeah,
Chris Siracuse 1:15:16
so I think you both queued up next segment in the show Nice. Wasn't a
Kartika Alexandra 1:15:24
quantum field connection.
Chris Siracuse 1:15:26
Definitely. So I don't know if Martin told you Karthika but we we have manku priests by the name of Ketut, we have a segment on the show called thoughts from Ketut, where we we pose a question to him and give him a theme for the week and we have him give a little piece of wisdom so we asked him for for your episode here was what would you say to someone that is reluctant to to start exploring alternative forms of healing or therapy? And here's his response
Mangku Ketut 1:16:10
Wow, this is funny to hear that someone doesn't want to help themselves. It's like you asking people are you want to be happy or not? And no festival? You know, you you can like offer to help. And no but to do it this a different again in to do it must be come from themselves better. The willing to do it not any, any, any medicine any tool will not help. It just listening but nothing will happen. And no, it's not about the the tool is broken or medicine is not working. Because they're not willing to really do it to the best of will is Don't tell them less than asking you with a Be patient. They will come in the right time. Everybody for every time. So everybody have their own time. So every question have the answer in the perfect time. So don't waste your time for asking
Martin O'Toole 1:17:27
the wisdom of Ketut. He's got a lovely voice. Yeah, he knows his stuff. He's what I love about the conversations we've we've had with guitar is he says he says all the same things we say he says it like a bar when he's monkey priest. Like a little Yoda.
Kartika Alexandra 1:17:48
Indeed, indeed. There was quite interesting to hear that because indeed, I will speak only from my practice, people will come to look to resolve things. And they want to resolve it. But they're apprehensive about doing it right? The first thing is, why are you here? Because there's obviously a part of you that wants to be here. Spiritual bypassing, or cognitive bypassing people will go into their cognitive and spiritual bypassing explaining why all this stuff happened. But so if you've got to figure it out spiritually and cognitively, then what do you want me doing here? Yeah, and it's a delicate thing. Because sometimes on those days, you want to be quite direct, but presenting it in a way that allows their blocks and ego to feel more comfortable to open up more is really the I would say this, I would suggest looking at, if you're not feeling ready, but you know, it's time step by step by step. And it's hard to say that you should only go with your intuition, because most people who have been highly traumatised or disconnected, they don't connect to their intuition. And their intuition that they feel is intuition is actually by trauma responses. It's survival. And so identifying first that when you are feeling the sense of when this intuition or something, you feeling an opening or an expansion, there's a relaxation in the body. But if it's something that's apprehensive, out of fear of the mind and the ego, you will feel a tightening, like maybe a tension or overthinking kind of some people have described it like lightning in the head when you're feeling a fear, like I want to do it but but but all of that EXCESSIVE THINKING monkey chatter, that's going to be not the kind of reading or sorry, message you want to get. Yeah, so be it would be follow slowly, slowly, slowly. The feeling that's causing you to expand, but that's where the therapist or the healer will know. This person is very much in their thinking. Yeah, and how to help them open that up.
Martin O'Toole 1:19:53
Well, I think, I think the more the first step is awareness, right and and things I always say is, after the idea that he there's no silver bullet to healing, the main point is you have to want it. Yeah. And what I would say about that is we don't often know we want it. So all we can do is at least just for one moment, stop and look around at those around us look at look behind us at the metaphorical trail of destruction. And and ask ourselves, honestly, what's the common denominator here? What are whatever this event is whatever these triggers are, whatever keeps happening? Why does this keep happening to me? That's, that's something I used to say, why does this happen to me? I, my advice to anybody would be, you're not supposed to have all the answers. But just have that one question. That is, what's the common denominator here? Because if you can actually take a moment to accept a modicum of responsibility, just accept, okay, this, this stuff keeps happening. And it doesn't matter who it is. Doesn't matter if it's a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, friend, business partner, these explosions keep happening. Well, that is me, isn't it? And if we can do that, and then do a little bit of research into who we think we might want to then have the next conversation with the healer. And I use the word healer, by the way for felt everyone in the space who would help anyone else. So that's traditional or alternative healers. But then after that, just go with it. Go go with the process, because the main and this is really why keto it was a maze. Wow, I can't, I can't really get my head around why people wouldn't want to heal well, because they don't need they don't know they need to heal. And that's because we live in a society where these nuances of behaviour and neuroses have become commonplace. It's no more. So we're normalising mental illness. Yeah,
Kartika Alexandra 1:22:16
yeah. You're right. You said awareness, which obviously, is the first start to anything. And then the willingness, because I know, we know a lot of people, I mean, myself included, where we had awareness, but the willingness was another whole level that we need to bring in before you dived in. And even in the journey, you're not even willing to go forward, because it's a lot. I don't know, buddy, you cannot prepare for healing. Because once you're in it, and it's the ball is rolling, it really, ego death is a common term for that. But you cannot stop the process. So is going in. So the willingness to just go, just go. And there's that, you know, idea from Zen Buddhism, that it's only when you this, basically is in the fall that you find yourself, you don't control that you don't do anything, just for and there's no statue, there's no security, and that's the freedom of it all. But that's really obviously hard when you've been stuck in a sense of security and ego and all that
Martin O'Toole 1:23:11
and fight or flight, as you mentioned earlier, correct. Which works to an extent, on a level,
Kartika Alexandra 1:23:16
right? Yeah. But yeah, it is true. It is for me, very difficult. I have learned though, with licking a few little, little tiny, small increases in my little maturity there. You cannot expect people to want to heal unless it's that time. Yeah. So you may know, okay, well, this is causing this problem, financial abundance block or the sexual issue. But there is an art to keeping it in. And not saying Well, listen, I think you should do that. Because when they asked the question, the willingness has been opened, and the reception of the receiving I think, and I'm thinking sometimes in French, receiving that knowledge is then able to move in. Yeah. So there's something Yes, indeed about us waiting for the question, then you can move the information in? Yeah, there's, I think my teacher also taught me that in his journey, just because he could see what was causing this illness or that illness. You don't just say, well, listen, your liver issues caused by this issue that you haven't resolved. Because when the question is then come suddenly the the Yeah, you can do this kind of work.
Martin O'Toole 1:24:24
Yeah. Yeah. But again, we have to want it. We have to, we have to be prepared to do that work. It's endemic of what happens in what's happening in society now because of course, we have a hack for everything. Yeah. And we have attention in time poor humans all over the planet. Because they'll have to work harder to pay for inflated prices and stuff that don't need blah, blah, blah. And there's a whole other podcast about that. But as a result, I think healing has become a Luxury. Yes. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah, like, I don't have time to heal.
Kartika Alexandra 1:25:09
Totally. Yeah. Oh, it cost so much, which is true, actually in that unfortunate part. But it doesn't have to, you can just start with the basics of sleeping well, eating well. And if you can do organic food, fine, you know, maybe only pick certain fruits, make sure those are organic. If you really want to go into the mind body cleaning, body cleaning is easier for most people to start with, when they haven't done any kind of healing, the physical shifts and changes because the mind you're you're tapping on a whole different dimension then. And if the body is equipped to change, work with the change in the mind, the harmonisation, I have found not this as anecdotally, is faster. But if we change the mind, the body still holds too much of the old memory. It's very uncomfortable for the next weeks, you know, there's this feeling of sensation because you can feel the trapped emotions moving out sometime, maybe you don't you just get headaches all the time. But So changing the body is the first step, working out exercising, which you don't always have to go to the gym.
Martin O'Toole 1:26:08
No, I would actually I would I would support or you said that because I'd already I'd been sober for a year. And then I and then he started to do the usual working out and running. And then he started to do yoga. But then I started to address the rest of my diet. It was this hang on a minute. Now I'm not drunk all the time. It feels good when I eat that it feels bad when I eat that I feel lethargic when I consume this. And once I changed my whole day, trousers, I went vegan and went plant based. But I'm not saying you have to do that. But but it completely changed my mental health as well. Super improvement my mental health. And, and that's what I was talking about. Anyone about consumption is not just about what we eat what we drink. It's it's the whole thing.
Kartika Alexandra 1:26:56
Yeah. So we can start there. I was 2021. And I had a severe inflammation in my body. And I had these breakouts everywhere in my body. I didn't know what to do. Of course, it's not very attractive. And I was going to university and yeah, and I was in Vancouver. And I looked up I have hated needles my whole life. Yes, who probably have some trauma somewhere there. But I really didn't like a therapist. Oh, oh, gosh, my mind went to 1000 jokes right there. It's great. But yeah, and I said, I should really do acupuncture for this Never had I thought about doing acupuncture. Because that's the last thing to do when you have fear of needles. So I googled these two places nearby my house, it has to be, you know, within the close range so that I don't have to exert too much energy too much. Right. Time for healing, correct? Yeah. And of course, it's all crammed in because I had things to do. But I find this acupuncturist, it's like God, this guy feels right. And so I go to see him, I get in there. And the whole office is full of Chinese people, that he doesn't even speak English fluently. So I look at him, he looks at me and he looks at my face. He looks at my palm. He asked me my birth date. And I'm very open to this because I grew up with many Eastern teachers and mentors and healers and alternative and traditional. So I see I know what he's doing in terms of you know what he's looking at my facial reading my birthday, my tiger fire Tiger Chinese chart, and he's getting information. He looks at me. And he says, Hmm, by 30, you'll be fine. I said, well, listen, I'm 20 Freaking one can result now. You know? And he's I cannot make no, no, no. He said back in nine years, he is right. Nobody says I can help you. And he says isn't broken English. He said, I can help you. But you must come every two three days, for like, two three months. I said cannot have to go on a flight. And you got to make this this is the wrong attitude. But of course I understand now I did not know a bit better than says him. So I said I'm leaving back to Bali, you know, in a month, says okay, every day 9am And you drink medicine. So I look at this powder dust basically. And I he gives me the price. It was very expensive. I was a college student. And I have to say it and that moment I said no, I know that this is there's something here. So I got about $2,000 Just for the medicine. And then each acupuncture was $50. And that was for a month straight. So he became one of my teachers. That month. We saw each other every single day. And he walked in and he was very eccentric. And this is something else I learned about the people I have I have found that I have more respect for because they're very much themselves in their power doing their healing work. But they are themselves. So he would walk in he's very eccentric. He played JLo JLo had a new song that came out and he loved this song. And you'd be sitting there in his patient, you know, in his bed, and it was only him and he had these obsidians everywhere which now I use in my practice that they helped to absorb negative and explain what an obsolete oh sorry, yes, this is stone that actually has a black and has a reflective kind of shiny surface to it. So as we may or may not know about most stones crystals have a certain frequency that can help enhance or magnify or they have some kind of energy component that helps to stabilise energy to so you can use this if you're interested in this stuff. Now, in his case, he had an obsidian and he had a bracelet of obsidian too. And I've always been quite curious. So I was we were talking and I asked him what it was he said this absorb bad energy. Okay, fine. He's like Do not touch it looked at this massive obsidian in the corner. Is that like, okay, and he explained bad energy go back to you. I'm like, okay, definitely not. Yeah, so he'd be like, he'd stand above my belly. And mind you, I'm terrified of needles. And so this is when you know, you are really committed to going through it. And he says, I can help you, but so you have to come every month and drink that stuff. But I will take as long as I need in that one session, which is usually an hour to an hour and a half. So he stood over my belly with one hand, and he would wait. And I'd look at him, of course, because I didn't I knew something was happening. I didn't know what. And then he'd wait and he'd wait. And then he'd use one you don't go right below my navel sometimes above. And I felt this. This kind of movement of very uncomfortable, sharp energy moving out of my belly. Yep. Okay, so I say there, he said sleep. And he put on JLo and he literally danced away.
Martin O'Toole 1:31:30
How does one sleep?
Kartika Alexandra 1:31:33
What was that song was she had the goal. Anyway, she's on the yacht with this band. I think I came away by this, but he was just himself. So we spoke every day for one month. And I learned so much about him. Now I understand. You said in your I'm giving you English my version of it. But he was like, I'm not going there's two types of ways we can heal. We can go into a healing that was the imprint from this life or before this life. Yeah. And so we're gonna go to that one. Because when you were born in this life, first of all, he said you so stupid, stupid. I said why? He said you did belly Pierce belly piercing? No. And I said, why the frick? What do you mean? He said, This cuts the meridian channel, the main one. I didn't know anything about meridians. Okay, fine. He said you have these in simplified ways. He was trying to explain it to my little brain at that time. You stop. You've decreased your life by 10 years. I tried to give you back nine right now. I said okay. I don't know what you mean. Now, after what, maybe a decade or more, I understand what he means now because I got to understand much more about the meridian body. And that's where we hold our emotions. And in this if you believe or not in the chakra body, which by the way you can train to go into those bodies. This is not some out there woowoo thing you can sit and train. And I tell you this from my own experience, I did not believe in this stuff. Nor would I have ever thought I would even say these words but having trained to feel more subtle energies. That's where actually healing happens. You feel your body that's called interoception by the way, in trauma healing, you feel the subtle energies of your body. So anyways, he's over there and he tells me that he's going to do this and help me go back to the pre birthing. Then he looks and tells me you want this to work. You cannot eat any list everything I ate, including fish, meat, and fried food and sambo which is spicy everything I would somebody. I said, well, then what but like I now argued, because that's what you do when you don't know I said, but the wild salmon that's really good with Omega 369. And he said no rice, nothing. So what what do I eat? He said just vegetables. I said, Well, if I'm going to spend $2,000 And all of this and there was something about him that resonated. So I did it. Within three days. There was significant reduction. My sister picked me up and she was like, Whoa, you face everything looks really different. So I went there every day. By the end he said, Okay, finish everything. You can go back to your normal diet. I looked at any menu, I was going to celebrate go have cheese, which I love in a wild salmon. I looked at the menu at this restaurant with my sister, the one who passed away. And I was like, I'm gonna have a French baguette. This was before I was vegan and vegetarian with him in my favourite smelly cheese. I looked at it I said, But you know, my body doesn't want that. And suddenly I understood. Yeah, I have been programmed to want meat to want cheese to want this. And it sounds like a very small incident. But that changed my whole worldview. I didn't Well, we're really who am I? Because I love cheese. But why do I love cheese? It's only because I was exposed to cheese. And the TV tells you to write in this a French school I went to work where your cheese is a big part of our and I looked at I said and this is something I did not know. Then I looked at my eyes. It's not very exciting for any listener, but I was like, I feel like spinach. And I ordered spinach and I actually felt this expensive energy. That's when I understood If I had finally connected to myself, and went back to my said, I got it. I understand why you did it say why I was doing it for other reasons too, but good, because your body already know what you need. Yeah. Now I know, looking back that there's very few men, acupuncturists who can do it with one needle, only it takes a high level usually have many needles, and to be able to do that work, and the fact that he was so in his power, and he would listen to JLo. And everything actually empowered me to not take upon the role, or I think that you are 100% healer all the time, you can still have your eccentricity is even worse, eccentric behaviours and tendencies. You notice that? These are Yeah, yeah. And, and that's where it's interesting, you can fuse that powerful healing energy into everyday life. You don't have to wear crystals on your neck, when you don't have to actually wear white clothes everywhere I
Martin O'Toole 1:35:51
go to hypocrite, wearing a crystal stone.
Kartika Alexandra 1:35:55
But you don't need to do that to be able to be in your power course. And it turns out, you can do that while you live this kind of life and go and be in business and do other things and have relationships and kids. Well, we are it's interesting. We're here, right?
Martin O'Toole 1:36:07
It's, I was listening to Ram Dass the other day, and he said something similar, essentially, some of us on this journey, spend all this time trying to get rid of our human self trying to transcend that that old version of ourselves so we can be more spiritual as he as he as he joked. And it was during a channelling session that he was reminded, why don't you just try being human for a little while, you kind of checked into this, with this. And with this new awareness, obviously, you've unplugged from the matrix. And now you're in a way human, but nobody's suggesting you have to wander around in white robes and think you're a guru. And that was when he suddenly realised he was being this sort of false guru in this in this strange way. For you, so you talked about, we've been talking about the body a lot, and it made me think, because the thread that holds our whole show together is the 10 common deathbed regrets. And I suppose it's no surprise that a lot of people on the deathbed say I wish I'd taken better care of my body. And I know firsthand, having been a self suffering alcoholic, I used to get into all sorts of bothers I really started destroying my body. So I had that realisation thankfully, my 40 so Hallelujah to me. But the there's another sad common deathbed regret, which is I wish I'd realised that happiness was a choice much sooner. And I think that's possibly the one that sort of breaks my heart the most. So when of what you thought about that, and whether or not you had any, any utilities or thoughts that people might be able to just take with them to welcome happiness in their lives,
Kartika Alexandra 1:37:47
right? If I can start that with a personal story of not knowing that happiness is a choice. The concept of what in my understanding of in my upbringing was, is by doing and achieving that you have happiness. So the relationship I had established to happiness was one of achievement and doing and, of course, making people around me happy. And so I did not know that I could be happy without that. It was only upon realising that one time sitting in meditation, when my same teacher I taught another meditation teacher, but in Bali, he said, Well, if you were to die tomorrow, I was 21 as well, at this time, he said, If you were to die tomorrow, are you ready to die? Grind Christian, you know, you're in day five of silent meditation, you really sensitive and I was like, I haven't made peace with I mean, I everything, even myself. And so that embarked me on that idea of what is actually happiness. And I was, in essence, programmed to think that happiness was the end goal. And so that's another faulty programme I came upon, that actually is not the end goal is feeling peaceful. That is the end goal. And happiness is part of that journey of getting to peace. And so when he asked me that, and everybody else in the room felt that too. We all had to understand very quickly that there are things we have to Figley in friendship, to to clean up basically, for us to be able to experience first happiness and then peace. And that made me face what I understood as happiness, not being from achievement, but just being
Martin O'Toole 1:39:37
Yeah, just being so it's not the destination. No, the journey
Kartika Alexandra 1:39:41
correct. And they actually from there, this joy of being who you are, if that's the case of listening to JLo for one of my teachers by the teacher, the master hypnotherapist she smokes Should we call her the Oracle because she just walks around like a normal human being. She's there smoking like your matrix matrix. Okay, as you're telling her and she just like, Does her magic, basically because she looks at you, and she just is incredible. She's smoking. Yeah. And she can still be like that. And she's happy just doing this being in that state and loving who she is in that sense of being. So, the first thing I would suggest is really, what do you think happiness is. And then the next step beyond that is if happiness is only a type of experience you can have, and the true from my understanding of my teachings to die happy, it would be actually to die peacefully. And happiness is, can become a fit, because it can become a fixation of the ego. And if we have a fixation or attachment to anything, we cannot die peacefully, and the mind gets agitated, and feels incomplete. So the chasing will, of course, take kick in if we think happiness is the end goal. I think most people have been programmed remedia to think that happiness is what we were looking for, like the phone, or this car, or something like that our
Martin O'Toole 1:41:05
job or
Kartika Alexandra 1:41:08
even to be more peaceful, would be more accurate. So anyways, the takeaway, first of all, is to write out those values, what are the values, the values that drive your life, because that energy of your consciousness is going to be within those values, if you if you don't have values, you must write them down. And you'll find that your values may be maybe be health, in my case, it is, especially after my sister passed away. Maybe it's financial freedom for some people, maybe it's being in a relationship, a specifically a loving relationship, maybe the value of bringing joy, whatever that is, to create that, because that's where this energy of happiness can come in when you're living according to your values, which, as a consequence, means you have more integrity. And when you have more integrity, you're more balanced internally, you're more resilient. And that allows more stable, comfortable emotions like happiness to come. And so you have values you must write out if you don't know what they are, that's key. And they can also kind of rollover into goals, so that your mind has something to focus for the conscious mind. In my case, if my values to be healthy, and in harmony, harmonious state, literally, my finances, my day to day schedule, everything goes according to that. So I've literally created the conditions in to some extent, all that I can in my power to create that reality to come to that happiness. Yeah. And whatever else comes, I will commit, right? Yeah, so yeah. But when I work with clients who I work with a few clients who are under the bed cancer or other things, when we speak, in my view, when we go back, the goal is to help them to die more peacefully. And the This requires the mind to let go of the pains that we can say, metaphorically or conceptually, weigh down the mind, and can cause death to be more uncomfortable. So there's a saying in Asian cultures that the way you die represents how you're dying in the mind. So if you can very uncomfortable agitated lots of pain, because the mind has too much that it hasn't let go of unprocessed. And so the part of letting them to release, release release most of the time, it has come to not necessarily being happy, but not having released and said the unsaid words that needed to be said, whether he was truthful pain, direct sentences, to their parents, to their exes, or whatever. But seeing those words that they actually kept within their body, releasing that emotion, then they felt relief, and then they could feel happiness
Martin O'Toole 1:43:51
expressing the truth, their truth, correct.
Kartika Alexandra 1:43:55
Yeah. And then so when they're and then we know they're going to pass these clients, whether they accept it or not, and that that's, that's where they're able to be more present with their children at the deathbed. And then they can pass more peacefully.
Martin O'Toole 1:44:11
Nice. I think it was the one who said there's no way to happiness. Happiness is the way yeah, that's always resonated with me is a lovely prose and an idea and and I think our search of happiness is often exterior. Yeah. But actually, I think what he was saying, what he what he said he's not that is that it's inside, right. But all the answers are inside and actually they are relatively easier to find. Then the job the car, the hey, you know, the Rolex watch. So
Kartika Alexandra 1:44:56
yeah, totally. I mean, I have so many other things that just came to mind that You're so on point with so when you internalise that happiness, these are what I want to create what I feel, which comes with gratitude. Yeah, actually, you have this protection bubble when someone is actually happy. I don't know, if you've been able to feel the subtle differences, there's an warmth that emanates from them, you know, the sense of in Buddhism, we call that loving kindness. Yeah, you know, equanimity, all of that together just as happiness. Everything can be falling apart. They they're still stable in that state. And it's a protective layer upon around us.
Martin O'Toole 1:45:31
Yeah. Because you can, and I think this is a misunderstanding. You can have stuff going on. Yeah. There's not balanced would still be happy. Yeah, still be at peace.
Kartika Alexandra 1:45:43
But isn't that life. It's never balanced externally. You know, there's never any balance and that's the point is that the balancing between the external imbalances and ours, we can, we can balance it within our own happiness and our own equanimity in approaching life. Equanimity being a bit like stoicism, but more like we're not bothered, not too high, not too low. Not too happy, not too sad. And so as everything changes, we stay in that state.
Martin O'Toole 1:46:12
Yeah, well, we can't affect the pond water but we can affect the lily pad that we're on. I think that's probably the idea whereas I could talk to you for another seven or eight hours we do for time. We got to say goodbye.
Mangku Ketut 1:46:32
Oh, yes,
Kartika Alexandra 1:46:34
we have to say goodbye.
Martin O'Toole 1:46:36
I mean, I'm sad to say seek or and a half well, you're gonna have to come back Then aren't you? That's the
Kartika Alexandra 1:46:44
most most happy to Yeah, I think about happiness.
Martin O'Toole 1:46:48
Honestly. I suppose I've two reasons for enjoying having you on here a because you You are wonderful speaker and you have a lot of amazing things to say but be because you had a an instrumental effect on my my healing journey. So I'm a walk in testimonial for you. And I would love for anybody who's on your wherever they are in life, whatever is happening to them. Just do yourself a favour, take a moment breathe, ask yourself, can Is there anything I can do for myself? When the inevitable answer comes back? Yes, yes. Do it now. Contact Karthika or anybody else in your country who is looks like a respected Hypnotherapist. But I will say right here right now, Christopher, there is only one Karthika Alexandra.
Kartika Alexandra 1:47:41
It is really an honour to be a part of this creation here with you both in Martin, thank you for trusting me and that journey on your journey into yourself. It was
Martin O'Toole 1:47:51
unforgettable, unforgettable as I was hypnotised. Thank you.
Kartika Alexandra 1:47:58
Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, Martin.
