Chinwag #13 How Not to Suffer, with Chris Siracuse

Welcome to How to Die Happy, the podcast that tackles some of life's biggest questions about dying, living, and being. Today's episode is a deep dive into the human condition of suffering. We explore why we suffer, how to avoid it, and the nature of the mind that often causes it.

Trigger warning: During this discussion, Martin and Chris touch on the mental illness of Pedophilia, using this sickness as an extreme example of the worst thing a human can do to another. Neither Martin, Chris, nor anyone from this show advocates humans' mistreatment of another in any shape or form. Don't listen to this episode if such discussions easily trigger you. That said, if others' truths trigger you, then perhaps do listen because Martin's point in tackling such a delicate subject proposes that to better understand the "wrongs" in this world, we must attempt to comprehend what leads others to cause suffering to others in the first place.

We all experience physical and emotional pain at some point in our lives. Suffering is an inevitable part of life here on Earth. But why do we suffer? According to Buddhist philosophy, the root of all suffering is our attachment to things and our aversion to change (impermanence). This attachment leads to a cycle of craving and suffering that is difficult to break.

Martin introduces the Buddhist concepts of ⁠Dukkha (suffering) and Anicca (impermanence)⁠ and talks about how these ancient teachings may hold key-shaped utilities for unlocking our suffering or the suffering we cause to others. The Buddha is attributed to have once said, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional". While questioned as an authentic Buddha quote, the concept (most Buddha-like as it is) highlights the idea that we can choose how we respond to pain and suffering. We can either allow it to consume us or learn from it and grow.

How can we avoid suffering? One way is to regulate our emotions. We often suffer because of our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We can change our emotional responses and reduce our suffering by changing our thought patterns. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, isochronic sound healing, yoga, and deep breathing can help regulate emotions and reduce anxiety and depression.

Another way to avoid suffering is to cultivate gratitude and focus on the positives in life. It's easy to get caught up in the negatives and overlook the good things. By taking time to reframe and appreciate what we have, we can shift our perspective and reduce our suffering.

During the podcast, Martin and Chris discuss the addictive nature of suffering and how it can become a habit (ego likes stories of suffering, as they form a part of our illusory identity). They offer practical utilities of how not to suffer, including practising self-compassion, setting boundaries, and finding purpose in life.

In conclusion, suffering is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to consume us. In fact, it shouldn't. We've been conditioned to believe it's unavoidable, which is nonsense. By understanding the root causes of suffering and cultivating mindfulness, gratitude, and self-compassion, we can reduce our suffering and find greater meaning in life. 

Thank you for joining us on this journey, and we hope you found this episode insightful.

Special thanks to the beautiful souls at the excellent ⁠Chela⁠ restaurant in Bingin for allowing us to record this episode on their premises. Feedback is the breakfast of champions! So, as always, please let us know your thoughts about this conversation.