Chinwag #14 What is Love? With Chris Siracuse

Welcome to How to Die Happy, the podcast that explores the human experience, relationships, death, self-discovery, and more. In this episode, host Martin O'Toole and guest Chris Siracuse dive into the question that has puzzled philosophers, poets, and scientists for centuries: What is love? What is the meaning of love? What is true love, and how can we find it? We begin with a scientific perspective on love, examining the chemicals in our brains involved in the experience of love. But love is more than just a biochemical reaction; it's a complex and multifaceted emotion with both a spiritual and psychological component. One way to better understand love is to explore the concept of the five love languages. What are the 5 love languages? They are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Understanding your partner's love language can help you communicate your love more effectively and build a stronger relationship.

Self-love is another crucial aspect of love that we discuss. Should inner work be mandatory before seeking love? Or is it possible to find love without first loving yourself? It's a question with no easy answer, but we explore some of the pros and cons of each approach. When one is not looking for love, are they more attractive to others? Or do we find self-realisation attractive in others since such awareness demonstrates consciousness? Where love is hard to attain, how often do we open our hearts and minds to the idea that we may have personal work to do? These are just a few of the questions we ponder. Our discussion also touches on the dating scene in Bali, where Chris, a single American man, shares his experiences. While he suggests that casual interactions suit him, Martin investigates whether this behaviour is more likely a deliberate distraction from inner work. Can casual sex ever be genuinely healthy? What are the costs, and what of the energetic exchange and sanctity of sexual union? Technology has undoubtedly changed how we form and maintain relationships, for better or worse.

Has it created unhealthy hacks in the relationship, enabling sexual intimacy too soon? Or is this just the way we learn to love? We explore the pros and cons of technology's impact on modern love. Love-bombing is one of the unhealthy relationship behaviours we discuss, which is a manipulative tactic used to overwhelm someone with attention and affection in the early stages of a relationship. A study by the University of Warwick found that those who experienced love-bombing were more likely to have adverse outcomes in their relationships, such as lower relationship satisfaction and increased doubts about the relationship's longevity. What is true love? What is the meaning of love? These questions have no easy answers, but we hope our discussion has shed some light on the subject. As Einstein once said, "The only mistake in life is the lesson not learned". So perhaps the more fundamental question is, are we learning how to love healthily or merely bouncing unconsciously from one relationship to another? We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this show's topic. Feel free to participate in the Spotify Q&A, comment on our ⁠Instagram page⁠, or leave us a ⁠voice message here⁠. Special shoutout to Haddaway, whose 1993 dance hit, What is Love, inspired the show's title.