Ep #20 Why Relationships Fail, with Kartika Alexandra

Welcome to the How To Die Happy podcast, where we explore life, regrets, death, and living well and offer insights into how to live a fulfilling life. In this episode, hosts Martin O'Toole and Julia Malcolmson delve into the topic of relationships and why they fail.

According to the ⁠Life Project⁠, divorce rates have increased by 122% in the UK between July and October 2020. This trend is also seen in other countries, with divorce rates at 50% in the US, 42% in the UK, 87% in Luxembourg, and 65% in Spain. These statistics beg the question, why do relationships fail?

To understand why relationships fail, we first need to understand the psychology of relationships. A study by the American Psychological Association has identified the top five reasons why relationships break down, including withdrawing during arguments, being on different pages with life decisions, holding unrealistic standards, staying despite relationship issues, and relying on body language to convey feelings. Other reasons include a lack of compromise, comparison, balance, holding onto the past, and taking out anger on one another.

In this episode, Martin, Julia, and guest (and friend to the show) Kartika Alexandra, an integrative hypnotherapist and founder of Bali's Maja Healing, offer their observations and suggestions on how to avoid these relationship pitfalls. They discuss practical utilities to help conscious couples improve their communication and relationship with their partner, including learning to self-regulate, love, forgive, be present, courageous, and truthful.

It's no surprise that many deathbed regrets relate to relationships. Unfortunately, many people reach their last moments filled with regret for the way they handled their relationships with lovers, family, and friends. These regrets highlight the importance of developing emotional maturity and relationship skills before it's too late.

Relationship skills are not innate knowledge, and if parents carry unhealed trauma throughout their lives, their children will likely develop and recycle the same traits. To break this cycle, we need to learn how to optimise our relationships and live more fruitfully and happily together.

In this episode, Martin, Julia, and Kartika explore how couples can improve their communication and relationship with their partner. They discuss the importance of conscious couples working on themselves, finding the right balance, and learning to let go of grudges. They also offer practical advice on how to improve your relationship with your husband or partner.

At the How To Die Happy podcast, we believe learning to optimise our relationships is vital to living a fulfilling life. In this episode, Martin, Julia, and Kartika offer their observations and insights on why relationships fail and how to avoid these pitfalls. Tune in to the How To Die Happy podcast to discover more on this and other topics related to living a fulfilling life.

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